Catholic Church: “Help, Help, We’re Being Opressed!”

Raise your hand if you can’t believe birth control is fucking controversial in 2012.

The Great Satan from Kenya’s plan to force all nuns to take the pill has met with understandable opposition from both the Republican party and the Catholic Church…..

What?  That isn’t his plan?  Sorry about that.  I’ll start again:

The Muslim-in-chief socialist nazi atheist’s plan to require all churches to pay for birth control for their members……

That isn’t it either?  Damn it.  Let me find his actual plan….

From the New York Times:

At issue is a provision in the health care overhaul passed in 2010 requiring employers to offer preventive care, including free birth control. The Department of Health and Human Services announced on Jan. 20 that parishes and houses of worship would be exempted from the requirement, but that other religiously affiliated employers, like Catholic hospitals and universities, would still have to pay for the coverage.

That anti-religious bastard!  How could he be so totalitarian about people’s moral convic….

the Obama administration announced what it called a compromise on Friday. It said that the Catholic institutions would not have to pay for the birth control coverage or refer their employees to it, but that it would all be covered directly by the insurance companies.

Why is this even controversial?  It isn’t like this is the first time a law like this ever went into effect anywhere in the United States.  28 states already require birth control coverage, and most have tighter restrictions than Obama’s plan.  And many Catholic hospitals and universities already provide this coverage.

(Let me attempt to deflect the accusations of anti-catholic hate that my next comment may attract.  My family is Catholic.  I was confirmed in the Church, although I’m obviously not a practicing Catholic now.  I don’t have anything against Catholics in particular; I think all Christianity is silly.)

Where was this outrage from the Holy Mother Church when their priests were fucking children?  Priest diddling kids, that gets swept under the rug, but require a hospital to provide basic fucking care to its employees and now the Church is up in arms?

It is 2012.  98% of women have used contraception.  A majority of Catholics agree with the President’s plan.

Women are not second class citizens.  Deal with it.

Oh, and to all the republicans attempting to use this issue to score culture war points because, hell, it’s only women?

Fuck you.


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