Jesus, if he existed, was probably fucking Mary Magdalene. If not, then I imagine the gatherings he had with the Twelve included lots of blowjobs and anal. He also wasn’t born of a virgin. No, the “virgin” Mary, mother of God, took a load of sperm from someone who wasn’t her husband and then came up with the “God did it” excuse to avoid being stoned to death as an adulteress. How much suffering could have been prevented if she just would have taken it in the mouth or ass? Imagine. If the birth control pill would have existed back then, there may have been no reason for the Inquisition.
Much more after the jump, including music and my artistic rendering of Muhammad.
Yahweh is nothing but a cruel, petty, sadistic creation of an ancient people to explain the world and justify their prejudices.
Speaking of Allah, he is not great and Muhammad was not only his prophet but also a child molester. Unless there is another term for someone who marries and fucks a nine year old girl that I am not aware of. I hear he also looks a lot like this:
And how about some old punk rock? Haille Sellasse, Up Your Ass by Propagandhi:
And how about some Pussy Riot?
Offended? I’m not sorry. No one has the right to not be offended. Blasphemy laws are a threat to freedom of speech. They not only affect atheists, but also religious minorities in countries that adopt them. If you are a Christian, I am sure you think I am an asshole right now, but don’t think for a second that blasphemy laws won’t be used to persecute Christians in Islamist nations.
I believe and will fight for freedom of religion and freedom from religion. As long as you are not asking the government to legislate or endorse your beliefs, I will always support your right to believe in whatever invisible sky fairy you chose to worship. I support your right to criticize my beliefs as much as I cherish my rights to mock yours.
Let me repeat: No one has the right to not be offended.
Not even the fools in the Arab League. From Dispatches from the Culture Wars: (Bolding, as always, is mine.)
I’ve heard people in the past wonder about the wisdom of celebration International Blasphemy Rights Day, which is today. The last couple weeks have, with spectacular timing, underscored the importance of standing against religious authoritarianism and in favor of free speech. Now the head of the Arab League has called for global criminalization of any speech that hurts the delicate feelings of religious believers (or at least Muslims).
The head of the Arab League called Wednesday for the international community to criminalize blasphemy, warning that insults to religion pose a serious threat to global peace and security. The comments put him squarely at odds with the United States and many of its western allies, which are resolutely opposed to restrictions on freedom of expression.
Blasphemy is not a threat to global peace and security, but the madness of people who think they can kill and maim in response to it certainly is.
“While we fully reject such actions that are not justifiable in any way, we would like to ring the warning bell,” Elaraby said. “We are warning that offending religions, faiths and symbols is indeed a matter that threatens in international peace and security now.”
“If the international community has criminalized bodily harm, it must just as well criminalize psychological and spiritual harm,” he said. “The League of Arab States calls for the development of an international legal framework which is binding … in order to confront insulting religions and ensuring that religious faith and its symbols are respected.”
Elaraby maintained that the 21-member Arab League valued the freedom of speech but stressed that “we don’t see any relation between freedom of expression which aims at enriching culture and building civilization of the one hand and activities that merely offend and insult the beliefs, culture and civilization of others.”
Criminalize “psychological and spiritual harm”? Cry me a fucking river. Islam was once the beacon of light that kept science and learning alive in this world during the Christian dark ages. Now it has brought Islamist nations their own dark age. Government legislated religion and fundamentalism regresses society. If the Arab League wants to criminalize psychological harm, let’s see them start with the harm some Islamist nations cause the women who are unfortunate enough to be born with in their borders. Cause I’m sure being forced to dress in a carpet so as not to inflame the lusts of men with a flash of an ankle, not being allowed to drive, not being allowed to be educated, and possibly being killed for dishonoring your family if you get raped does fucking wonders for the psyche.
As Ed Brayton finishes his post at Dispatches:
Yeah, they love freedom of speech — as long as you don’t say things that bother them. Famous first words of fascists.