Rep. Michael Burgess, R-Texas, said on Monday that he supports the proposed federal ban on abortion at 20 weeks because he has personally witnessed male fetuses with their hands “between their legs” pleasuring themselves at 15 weeks.
Well, that is perfectly reasonable…. Wait. What the fuck did he just say?
“There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20-weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15-weeks, 16-weeks,” said the former OB-GYN during the House Rules Committee debate on the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.”
“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” he continued. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”
I know what you all are thinking. “Why only male fetuses, Rep. Burgess? We all know everyone does it!” And while that is a perfectly hilarious response to such an idiotic argument, I have to go one step farther and ask why you aren’t condemning these sinful fetuses not only for the sin of masturbation, but for masturbating inside of their mother, which has to be incest in some way or another as well!
I know my Bible, Rep. Burgess. Masturbation equals abomination. Incest with your mother also equals abomination. Screw the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act,” where is the “Incestuous Masturbating Unborn Child Mandatory Abortion Act?”
I mean, good God Rep. Burgess, if they are jacking it at 15 weeks, there won’t be a pillow in the house safe to lay your head on by the time they are a year old. And that poor family dog. This is one slippery slope argument I’ll endorse wholeheartedly!