On this weekend’s edition of Sons of Liberty Radio, host Bradlee Dean, the drummer of the Christian metal band Junkyard Prophet who once attempted to sue Rachael Maddow for quoting him, revealed some very interesting statistics. Dean, who performs school assemblies, public schools included, designed to spread bigotry in the name of Jesus, first claimed that abortion and homosexuality are the “last two stages a country takes” before God decides to fuck all that forgiveness crap and pass judgement upon a nation. Then his fellow host Jake McMillan reached deep into his friends rectum and pulled out the following facts:
“half of the murders in large cities were committed by homosexuals; thirty-three percent of child abuse cases were committed by homosexuals; half of the foster children molestations were done by homosexuals.”
McMillan went on to explain why homosexuals are so evil:
McMillan explained, to Dean’s agreement, that gays are prone to criminality because “when a person’s mind has gone to that extent of committing an abominable act, it shows what else they are capable of.”
Dean jumped in to explain how the evil gay mafia gets away with it all:
But of course gay rights are gaining ground, Dean claimed, since “they got their homo in office,” and have “infiltrated” the White House.
You can listen to all of these words come from the bigots mouths over at Right Wing Watch, if you are so inclined.
Can we pause a second to think about this? Half of the murders in large cities. Half. Citation. Fucking. Needed. Out of all the made up statistics I have ever seen (by the way, 72% of all statistics quoted on the internet are made up by the person quoting them, current statistic included,) this one takes the bukkake. How gullible or bigoted does one have to be to read that and not immediately call bullshit? How much of an insult to his audience is it that Bradlee thinks they will buy this stat? How sad is it that a majority of his listeners probably are thinking that all homosexuals do is suck cock, fuck ass, and kill people?
Since Bradlee and his co-host opened the door wide open with those “statistics” and the claim that President Obama is a homosexual, I feel it is only right to show Mr. Dean that I can make stuff up as well. So for all your right wing trivia needs, here is:
Fun Facts About Bradlee Dean!
- To those he is close to, Bradlee’s nickname is “cumdumpster.” And according to fellow members of Junkyard Prophet, he earned the nickname.
- While Bradlee is the butch in his relationship with his co-host Jake, behind closed doors Bradlee is 100% a catcher.
- Bradlee keeps his hair long not because he is in a metal band, but because Jake likes something to hold on to when he is pitching.
- Bradlee’s most cherished fantasy is to be taken by an African American in a position of power; when he claims Obama is a homosexual, he is masturbating.
All of that is exactly as true as homosexuals committing half of all murders in large cities. Well, with one difference. There is a slight chance that one of the claims I made could actually be true. We all know how repressed homosexual desire can present as homophobia. It is quite possible that Bradlee Dean could lust after cock. And though very doubtful, it could be true that he actively gobbles the cock night and day, and publicly spews forth his homophobic hatred out of a sense of shame. The only thing completely impossible is that homosexuals commit half of all murders in large cities, 33% of all child sexual abuse, and half of all foster child molestations. Compared to that list, my list is practically accurate.