Hard Evidence that the Current Mother Fucking, Power-Hungry, Self-Aggrandized Bigot in the Stupid Fucking Hat is an Improvement Over the Previous Mother Fucking, Power-Hungry, Self-Aggrandized Bigot in the Stupid Fucking Hat!

I know.  Just not actively protecting child rapists makes the new pope rise head, shoulders, and stupid fucking hat above Joey Ratz.  No, I’m talking about something else.  Yes, the new owner of the red telephone that connects directly to God has actually performed an action that makes him better than his predecessor.  Congrats, Pope Frankie!  You are no longer the best pope of the century by default alone.   From the Salon:

In an interview with an Italian-language Jesuit journal, Pope Francis says the Catholic Church has grown “obsessed” with the issues of abortion, gay marriage and contraception. In an effort to redirect the church’s focus, he has decided not to speak publicly about these issues, he adds.

As reported by the New York Times, the pope told La Civiltà Cattolica: “It is not necessary to talk about these issues all the time. The dogmatic and moral teachings of the church are not all equivalent. The church’s pastoral ministry cannot be obsessed with the transmission of a disjointed multitude of doctrines to be imposed insistently.”

The Catholic Church?  Obsessed with contraception, abortion, and gay marriage?  Never.  Everyone knows that the only thing the Catholic Church is obsessed with is….  No, you know what?  This is good news.  I am not going to make that joke.  In recent years it has seemed like the Catholic Church has been trying to catch fundamentalist protestant denominations on the batshit insanity scale (remember when the U.S. church sanctioned a group of nuns for spending too much time helping the needy instead of fighting against condoms and abortions?), and this interview at least makes it seem like they will be walking it back a bit under Pope Franciskus.  Let’s see what the New York Times had to say about Pope Frantz and his interview:

His surprising comments came in a lengthy interview in which he criticized the church for putting dogma before love, and for prioritizing moral doctrines over serving the poor and marginalized. He articulated his vision of an inclusive church, a “home for all” — which is a striking contrast with his predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, the doctrinal defender who envisioned a smaller, purer church.

Something tells me Pope Franchesko just pissed off a bunch of homophobic bigots.  Awwww.  Poor little homophobes!  Don’t worry, you can still make your completely irrational arguments against marriage equality, its just that the infallible Mr. Fran thinks you should be doing a little less throwing of the first stone, and a little more treating everyone the way they would treat Jesus.  Aside from the homophobes, the people who Pope Fa Fa Fa Franalana really served piss soaked Cheerios to for breakfast are those single minded Catholics who eat, sleep, dream, breathe, picket, fashion explosive devices, and drink pro-life 24/7/365.  If you are, were, grew up as, or have relatives that are Catholic, you know the type.  Every single Catholic Church in America has them.  The Catholics who would push a homeless starving little girl in front of a speeding bus in order to get in the face of the woman trying to enter a Planned Parenthood office.  The Catholics who believe the most important thing in the world is protecting every fetus until it exits the womb.  The Catholics who are the first to sign up for every bus trip to protest a clinic.  The Catholics who you really hope do not have firearms or knowledge of explosives.  You know, like Priests for Life:

“Nobody should try to use the words of the pope to minimize the urgent need to preach and teach about abortion,” said the Rev. Frank Pavone, national director of Priests for Life, who said he spoke Thursday about the “priority of the abortion issue” at a Vatican conference.

“Nobody?”  Does that include Pope Francisco?  Cause when he said:

“It is not necessary to talk about these issues all the time. The dogmatic and moral teachings of the church are not all equivalent. The church’s pastoral ministry cannot be obsessed with the transmission of a disjointed multitude of doctrines to be imposed insistently.”

it certainly sounded like he was minimizing the importance of preaching and teaching about abortion. Oh, well.  I wouldn’t expect any less from Rev. Pavone. I’m just going to call him an asshole and move on.

The pope’s words are likely to have repercussions in a church whose bishops and priests in many countries, including the United States, have often seemed to make combating abortion, gay marriage and contraception their top public policy priorities. Francis said that those teachings have to be presented in a larger context.

“I see the church as a field hospital after battle,” Francis said. “It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars. You have to heal his wounds. Then we can talk about everything else.”

From the outset of his papacy in March, Francis, who is 76, has chosen to use the global spotlight to focus on the church’s mandate to serve the poor and oppressed. He has washed the feet of juvenile prisoners, visited a center for refugees and hugged disabled pilgrims at his audiences. His pastoral presence and humble gestures have made him wildly popular among American Catholics, according to a recent Pew survey.

One of the most common arguments I hear from religious people is that religion is a good thing for the world because of all the good deed religious people do because of their religion.  While I personally think it is kinda sad that anyone needs an invisible voyeur watching them from the sky in order to treat their fellow man with common decency, whatever works, works.  And the argument is partially true; there is a lot of good done in the name of religion.  And hopefully, with these words from Fran-o-Pope, Catholics will start worrying more about taking care of the less fortunate and less about consenting people, their sex lives, and their reproductive rights.

But don’t think that just because the supposedly infallible one says something that actually makes sense for once gets the Catholic Church off the hook.    The suffering the Church causes in Africa with their opposition to contraception is unforgivable.  Africa bleeds HIV positive blood, and much of that blood stains the hands of the Church.  The Church still holds as doctrine policies that the vast majority of Catholics ignore.  And the Salon has a different post that calls much of what Pope Franco said in the interview into question:

But the praise feels undeserved. Francis may be better than the old pope, but what does that actually make him? A religious leader who has said some great things about equality and acceptance — but who appears quite content to leave the actual, structural barriers to achieving those goals firmly in place.

Pope Frankie Goes to Hollywood is still against marriage equality, contraception, and abortion, he just thinks the Church needs to emphasize the feel good stuff instead.  I don’t think I’ll hold my breath waiting for change.

And of course, there is always sex.  If the Church wants to convince me that change is in the air, then they need to come clean on the sex abuse scandal.  So far in the last 12 months, my county has had a priest commit suicide in the face of abuse allegations and another priest relieved of duty due to allegations.  The Church aided pedophile priests in their systematic abuse of children by covering up allegations and shuffling the priests to new locations with fresh victims.  If Pope Franitoba really wants to move the Church forward, it is time to start chucking abusers under the wheels of the bus.  When they die, they can face the God they claim to serve.  Until then, let them face the legal system.  Stop protecting monsters to shield your wallets from lawsuits.  Until then, you have no moral authority whatsoever.

Until then, the only reason I can believe the current mother fucking, power-hugry, self-aggrandized bigot in the stupid fucking hat wants the Church to spend less time hammering home the ban on contraception, abortion, and gay marriage is so that priests can have more time to hammer altar boys in the confessional.

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