Checking in on the GOP’s Rebranding Efforts with a “Wait, What?!?;” “What War on Women?” Edition

At this point, it almost seems pathological.  It is like they can’t even help themselves.  Here is Mike Huckabee making a political statement about Obamacare, quoted from the LA Times:

Speaking at the Republican National Committee’s meeting in Washington, the former Arkansas governor and Fox commentator teed off on Democrats who, he said, “think that women are nothing more than helpless and hopeless creatures whose only goal in life is to have the government provide for them birth control medication. Women I know are smart, educated, intelligent, capable of doing anything anyone else can do. Our party stands for the recognition of the equality of women and the capacity of women — that’s not a war on them, that’s a war for them.”

And if he just would have left it there, the story would end.   People who share my viewpoint would roll our eyes, he would score some points with the Republican base, and he would keep his name in the papers with a throw away line that no one would remember next week. But this is Mike Huckabee, proud warrior in the GOP War on Women That Doesn’t Really Exist Because We Keep Saying It Doesn’t Exist, So There!  Where is the condescending paternalistic casual misogyny?  Wait!  What?!

Oh, there it is!

“And if the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it — let us take that discussion all across America,” he said.

I was almost disappointed with ya, Mikey.
If you are keeping score at home, add inability to keep their panties on without government assistance to the long list of supposed superpowers the GOP believes women possess.  I have it right below “magic uterus’s  that can shut down pregnancy if the rape is ‘legitimate'” on my list.  “Uses the government as their sugar daddy to provide them their slut pills” actually sets me on my Misogyny Bingo card, but I am sure it gave someone a bingo.  Probably The Wonkette

First, can we point out that “Uncle Sugar” is gross, and you are basically saying women are being molested by their creepy uncle, and also they are gold-digging “sugarbabies” or “whores” if they disagree with you on the value of government programs in American life? Mike Huckabee, that’s on the verge of being rather rude!

Second, women who need a prescription each month for birth control may indeed not be able to “control their libido.” Fuck, buncha hot-ass nymphos out there just cold screwing every sad alcoholic under a bridge they can find, because they cannot. Stop. Fucking! And we say, GURRRRL, GET IT! FUCK THAT SAD OLD BRIDGE MAN! Spread the love!

Or they may be married women (the minute 77 percent of married women of childbearing age who use contraception, of course) practicing responsible family planning. You know, that thing where families only have children they can afford. We see a lot of comment from the right about “personal responsibility” and “welfare queens” (and lately “golddiggers”) when women don’t practice responsible family planning, or have the nerve to get a divorce after having responsibly born their children in wedlock. It is almost as if they would like to have it both ways!

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