My Chow and I stop at the Smokes and Lottery shack on our walk every Friday so I can pay my mother’s weekly tax for being bad at math. It is one of those local corner stores where everyone is a regular and everyone knows everybody’s name. (Everyone even knows my dogs name.) If you ever lived in a small town, you know the type of place I mean. This morning the one regular who I will call “Ralph,” a fiery far right conservative who delights in expressing his views to everyone in possession of an ear, was sharing his opinion on the Indonesian passenger jet that was shot down over the Ukraine, an opinion that actually led to two customers walking out of the store before making their purchases.
Before I share his opinion, let me be clear. I stopped listening to anything political that comes out of “Ralph’s” mouth years ago. It just isn’t worth it. To argue with him would be like arguing against Ann Coulter; not only is your opponent never going to back down or change their mind, but they probably only believe half of what they are arguing for anyway, latching on to the rest just to get a rise out of you. I doubt “Ralph” actually holds this opinion, because no one could hold this opinion. (Then again, my local newspaper recently published a letter claiming that since all mass shooters are registered Democrats, guns should not be sold to Democrats. Wrap your head around that. Not kidding, either. “ This leads me to conclude the answer to gun violence is to not sell guns to Democrats.” Not sure if the link will work, since the Altoona Mirror recently stopped allowing free online access to the paper. If my response letter gets printed though, I will post all the crazy. Okay, back to “Ralph.”) Chances are that this opinion exists only to piss people off. Everyone knows someone like that, who will say anything just to get someone to lose their cool. So what is this opinion that he loudly proclaims his right to hold?
Ahem. The people who are to blame in the death of the 298 passengers on board the Malaysian airliner that was shot down over the eastern Ukraine are the 298 people on board the airliner, who had no business flying in Ukrainian airspace knowing that there is tension in the area. It went beyond him blaming the 298 victims for their own horrific deaths, however, as he actively defended this opinion to two people who called him out on his bullshit opinion. I wish I could finish this post by transcribing his defense, his reasons why the fault should be laid at the vaporized feet of the deceased rather than those who fired the missile, but as I am sure you imagined already, his argument consisted of gibberish mixed with right wing talk radio talking points, in a steadily increasing volume. One must admit that his reasoning has a certain beauty to it. I can imagine the passengers gathering together before take off, insisting that the flight plan travel over Ukrainian airspace. One of the Dutch citizens, stoned out of his mind, must have suggested that they could all get a great picture of a surface to air missile in flight that way, leading the Australian contingent to urge the pilot to play “chicken” with any missile fired at them, after which they put another funnel web on the barby. The Malaysian crew was more than happy to comply, since getting hit by a missile would kill multiple white people, finally allowing them the glory of the kamikaze.
Because what the flying idiotic fuck? I’d try to follow his logic down the slippery slope rabbit hole, but the thought of using the word “logic” in the same paragraph with his victim blaming bullshit brings on a migraine. I’m just going to hit this pipe a few times, fill up my travel coffee mug, put my ear buds in set to a random podcast, maybe The Scathing Atheist, and take Princess Hyuna Anastasia for a multiple hour walk.
And I know what you are thinking. I wish I made this up, I really do. Because hearing an actual person say those actual words today nuked whatever faith I still held for our species.