I have to admit that I had no idea who Cee Lo Green was until the beginning of 2012. Perhaps I was aware of his existence, perhaps I had read his name at some point in time, or heard it spoken in polite conversation, but without a doubt, I knew less about him than what I currently know about the guy who is married to Mariah Carey. (Fun Fact: The only thing I know about the guy who is married to Mariah Carey, is that he is married to Mariah Carey.) Then Cee Lo performed at NBC’s New Year’s Eve celebration, and decided to change the lyrics of some song written by some guy named John Lennon. After reading about the idiocy on a few atheist blogs, I promptly gave him the attention he deserved and completely forgot all about him, other than a small note deep in my long term memory, marking him as “that guy so full of himself that he changed Lennon’s lyrics to Imagine.”
Sadly, Cee Lo Green has once again caught my attention, and this time it isn’t for something as idiotic-but-harmless as changing the lyrics to a classic song because he didn’t agree with the message. No, this time, Cee Lo decided that the world was interested in his views on rape, and it turns out that we are quite interested in what he has to say:
Displaying the clear thinking and sound judgment that usually accompany a Twitter rant, Green declared that women who have “really been raped REMEMBER!!!” before helpfully clarifying the definition of rape for the women of the world:
For some weird reason, Green deleted his Twitter account shortly afterwards (it’s since been reinstated), although he first took the time to explain that he only meant to start a “healthy exchange” about what a creep he is. The only bright spot in this deeply disappointing scenario is that Cee Lo forgot to blame the victim for not wearing anti-rape nail polish, but that’s probably just because it hadn’t been invented in 2012.
Umm. Did he just claim that if the woman is unconscious, it doesn’t count? *head desk*
Oh, wait. There is an update to this story!
In case you were too busy clinging desperately to all that is pure and good in this world, over the weekend Green ignited some major controversy by stating on Twitter that rape doesn’t count if the victim is unconscious—a move that was especially tasteless, considering he had just pleaded no contest to drugging a woman on a date in 2012. After his statements attracted immediate backlash, Green deleted his Twitter account, which lasted all of one day.
But now, his social media confidence restored, Green paused between posting links to his own songs on YouTube to issue an apology for all those things that he may or may not have said—even though they were definitely said—on his verified Twitter account:
Well damn, notpology accepted! I wonder what evil group of Cee Lo haters were responsible for attributing comments made on your verified Twitter account to you? How horrible and unfair! As for the final part of the notpology, well, two out of three ain’t bad. The comments were definitely idiotic and untrue, but I have a hard time believing you tweet ignorant shit like that just for the “lulz.” Oh, shit. There I go, attributing things tweeted from your official verified Twitter account to you. Sorry!
Congrats, Cee Lo! You are now filed away in my mind as “that rape apologist.”