Selena Gomez Mistakes Abu Dhabi Mosque for Slut Walk

In an act that will surely cause the first declared jihad of the new year, American actress/singer Selena Gomez posed for then posted an extremely racy pic to her Instagram account.  The picture, which I must admit, is barely one step above hardcore pornography, has caused outrage, outrage I tell you, among a certain group of Muslims that really need to find better uses of their time.  In addition to the incredibly disrespectful softcore pornography, a group shot was also taken showing a group of young adults smiling, laughing, and generally having fun, something that is strictly forbidden in houses of worship of all faiths.  That bastion of journalism, The Daily Mail, has cataloged some of the reactions.

Commenting on the picture, Alaa Almitwally said: ‘Disrecpectful! It’s a religion place not a place to have fun in, so disappointed.’

and this understated gem:

‘I like Selena Gomez but to have her do something like this makes me no longer a fan.’

While dating Justin Bieber was once Selena’s greatest crime against humanity,  that was always balanced out by her fine work on Wizards of Waverly Place.   Unfortunately, now that WoWP is off the air and Springbreakers (which is either a stunning social critique or exploitative trash, depending on who you ask) is approaching its second anniversary, Selena’s pop culture footprint is limited to the ear-splitting caterwauling her and her manager call music and whatever movie roles she has landed since I stopped paying attention.*  At this point in her career, taking and releasing this explicit picture must have seemed like a great idea, a cross between the “pay attention to me, I’m rich! Here’s a tape of me having sex” brilliance of Paris Hilton and the “When you look at me, I don’t want you to think ‘Disney,’ I want you to think ‘herpes'” raunchiness of Miley Cyrus.  It would get her name in the headlines and help her move away from the Disney princess image all at once.  The problem in this line of thinking is obvious.  Paris Hilton didn’t film herself performing fellatio and then having intercourse while appearing as if she would rather be getting a root canal in a mosque, be it a tourist trap mosque or just your everyday run of the mill mosque.  Miley never twerked over a copy of the Qur’an, nor did she rub up against an Imam, unless Robin Thicke leads a very interesting private life.

While Selena has since deleted the shocking photo from her Instagram page, once something hits the internet it is forever, assuring that millions of repressed men will be furiously masturbating to the huge amount of exposed Gomez flesh, while a similarly repressed, equally creepy contingent will spend their time plotting jihad against her and her family for this affront to their faith.  While I understand how hurtful and obscene my Muslim readership may find this photo, I feel that I must post the photo so everyone can understand the justifiable outrage directed at her and this photo.    To protect those with innocent virgin eyes, I will put the pic after the jump.  Please, if you are under 18, or if you have a weak stomach or delicate sensibilities, do not click through to the picture.

sgig
May God have mercy on your hypersexualized soul.
* Okay, I never paid any attention.  I actually had to double check to make sure she was also a pop singer.  The only reason I knew about Springbreakers is the polar opposite reactions critics I respect had over it.  I will stand by Wizards of Waverly Place though.  My Ex had two elementary school aged girls who I treated as if they were mine, and believe me, Wizards of Waverly Place got me through many a night

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