We here at Foster Disbelief can now confidently report that the New York Times, long considered the newspaper of record in the United States, is being controlled by a cabal of far right wing reptoids from the planet Gliese 581d. Our incredibly trusted sources, with high level clearance, have assured us that these reptoids have taken control of the New York Times in an attempt to smear the Clinton family and defeat Hillary’s presidential campaign. Never before has it been confirmed by such trusted sources that a United States media outlet has been taken over by aliens from a different star system.
We here at Foster Disbelief will be sure to bring you more information on this breaking story as it becomes available, but as the mainstream media starts to pick up this Pulitzer worthy story, remember where you heard it first!
Correction: Our sources suck. It is totally their fault. We take no blame whatsoever. Our sources have only ever been wrong one time before, when they insisted that grey aliens installed a base on the moon in order to mind control Mike Huckabee (turns out he is just that batshit insane all on his own), so with their incredible track record, we felt totes comfortable running with the story. We are sorry our sources suck so badly.