But What Do the First and Second Eagles Think?

So it seems like the antichrist Pope “Don’t call me” Francis has an upcoming visit to Philadelphia planned, and certain religious nutjobs religious fanatics religious extremists Puritans homophobes desperately closeted cock gobblers Co-Prophets of the End Times can see right through the claimed “pro-family” purpose to the Whore of Babylon’s true agenda.  Using little more than the released symbol for the visit, a pro-conspiracy mindset, and the endlessly chattering voices in his head, Third Eagle of the Apocalypse William Tapley (not to be confused with the Second Armadillo of the Apocalypse, the Forty Second Red Tailed Hawk of the Awakening, the Fifth Barred Owl of the Inquisition, the Second Crocodile of the Rapture, the First Crocoduck of Kirk Cameron’s Wet Dreams,  the Sixth Unicorn of Logic, the Twelfth Swordfish of Rationality, or the First Mamoset [Hi Tom, Hi Cecil!] of the Apocalypse), has released a breathtaking (ly idiotic) video that exposes the Pope’s evil plan:

 

 

From Raw Story:

Noting the pontiff’s upcoming visit to Philadelphia, Tapley explains that the logo used for the visit contains images of men having “gay sex.”

“At first glance you might think that this is a family logo, promoting a normal marriage between a man and a women,” he explained. “However, there is a hidden agenda in this logo to promote the gay agenda. That is because this image shows two men  and their relationship is a sexual one and not one of holy matrimony.”

Wait, what?  How do ya figure?

Noting that all of the stylized characters in the logo are similar in form — as opposed to male and female characters, with the female wearing a dress, as seen on bathroom signs — Tapley says it is obvious they are all men.

“If you take a closer look at this image you will see that the two figures are in a masculine shape,” he continued. “They are wider at the shoulders, the upper part of the body, and they taper down just like a man.”

Oh, okay.  That makes sense.  You figured it out by staring at the symbol for hours while trying to tie your hatred of Catholics together with your gay panic to create one combined flavor of hate to make your life easier.  After all, hating all those countless groups takes effort.

After watching this video and spending a long, drawn out, difficult and mind bending 15 seconds thinking about it, I have come to the following conclusion.

William Tapley, perhaps more than anyone alive today on planet Earth, needs to quit denying his true identity and suck a few dicks already.  Seriously man, you are not getting any younger, and anyone who can look at that symbol and see the gay agenda rearing its mushroom shaped head obviously has nothing but cock on their mind.  So quit making these idiotic “cry for help” videos and get together with either your fellow Co-Prophet or the First and Second Eagles and throw a lemon party * already.  You’ll feel much better and no one is going to judge you**.

* Don’t click that link.  Well, unless you have never heard of “lemon party.”  Then I guess you need to click it for research type purposes.  Or you could just Google it and find out what’s behind the link that way, but that’s kinda cheating, isn’t it?

** Okay, that’s a lie.  Lots of people will judge you.  Especially people who take your current videos seriously.  But fuck em.  You’ll have a salty taste in your mouth, and they will still be repressed self-haters.

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