Your “Wait, What?!?” of the Day, Brought to You by the Virginia GOP

Virginia GOP nominee for lieutenant governor E.W. Jackson is truly the gift of complete wingnut insanity that keeps on giving.The more I look into his past, the more often the words “wait…what?” seem to escape my lips.  Today’s gem comes from Talking Points Memo:

In an April 28, 2011 statement while he was a Senate candidate, conservative minister and lawyer E.W. Jackson held up the three-fifths clause as an “anti-slavery” measure. The context of his statement was to attack President Obama after a pastor at a church service he attended referred to the three-fifths clause as a historical marker of racism.

“Rev. [Charles Wallace] Smith must not have understood the 3/5ths clause was an anti-slavery amendment. Its purpose was to limit the voting power of slave holding states,” Jackson, an African-American, said in his statement.

My apologies if your head just exploded.

Ohio Seeks to Bring the Crazy to Their Students

From Think Progress:

The American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio is challenging an Ohio school district for considering a “controversial issues policy” that would require teachers to encourage discussions about creationism and conservative conspiracy theories about U.N. Agenda 21.

Springboro Community City School District’s new curriculum — part of an effort to help students think critically and learn to “identify important issues” — mandates that “[a]ll sides of the issue should be given to the students in a dispassionate manner” to help “students to be taught to think clearly on all matters of importance, and to make decisions in the light of all the material that has been presented or can be researched on the issues.” Controversial issues include:

religion when not used in a historical or factual context, sex education, legalization of drugs, evolution/creation, pro-life/abortion, contraception/abstinence, conservatism/liberalism, politics, gun rights, global warming and climate change, UN Agenda 21 and sustainable development, and any other topic on which opposing points of view have been promulgated by responsible opinion and/or likely to arouse both support and opposition in the community.

Teachers would have to provide equal weight to widely-accepted scientific theories like evolution and right-wing conspiracies advanced by Glenn Beck. Under the policy, students could not learn about sustainable development without also assessing the impact of U.N. Agenda 21, a series of non-binding U.N. recommendations for ensuring that economic growth does not undermine the environment, which conservatives believe will destroy American sovereignty and freedom. The Agenda was developed at a summit in Brazil in 1992 with support from President George H.W. Bush.

Ahh, teach the controversy.  “We should have enough faith in our children to be able to present both sides of a controversial issues to them and trust that they can decide for themselves which one is correct.”  Most often presented in relation to the evolution/creationism debate.  The problems with this approach are legion.  For one, in many cases you are taking an issue that is not an actual controversy in the factual sense, only in the political/religious sense, and presenting both sides as if they had equal evidence in support.  Yeah, many high school students would be able to make a rational decision based on the evidence on these subjects, but if a distorted view of the evidence is presented, then the decisions reached are bound to be distorted as well.  Among other concerns also lies the whole religious issue of teaching creationism in public schools.  Which may be one hurdle this policy will not be able to clear:

The ACLU criticized the district for adding evolution to the “controversial issues” list, noting that the policy “appears to explicitly permit the teaching of creationism.” “It has been firmly established that this practice is unconstitutional, in violation of the Establishment Clause,” ACLU legal director James L. Hardiman explained in a letter.

In 2011, the school board “backed away from plans to teach creationism under public pressure” from the ACLU. It plans to vote on this proposal in early June and is facing similar criticism from parents and students. 

How long til the first school district requires equal time to 9-11 truthers?  To moon landing deniers?  Holocaust deniers?  The “reptoids run the government” nutters?  The Agenda 21 kooks? 

Virginia Sen. Mark Obenshain Is On To You Women and Your Slut Tricks.

As GOP’ers everywhere attempt to surpass one another in a game of pro-life leap frog, it seems like the Republican candidate for Attorney General of Virginia, State Sen. Mark Obenshain played the ultimate trump card way back in 2009 when he decided to go after those tricksy women and their “miscarriages.”

a measure, introduced by Obenshain in 2009, to force women to report miscarriages to the police within 24 hours or face up to a year in jail.

Because you know, then the police could investigate and see if it was an honest, God-said-no-baby-for-you miscarriage or fake miscarriage by a slut drunk on aborting babies.  Since everybody* knows that 90% of all miscarriages**are actually at home abortions provided by secret agents of Planned Parenthood*** in order to supply fetuses to satanic cults****.

*Everybody in this statement refers to apparently the vast majority of Virginian republicans.

** 54% of all statistics are created by the person quoting them.

***Planned Parenthood does not actually employ secret agents

****There are no satanic cults.  Get over it.

Foster Disbelief Receives Coveted Endorsement!

I’m not usually one to brag about things like this, but in this case I feel I must make an exception.  As I prepare for the relaunch of the blog, I am pleased to announce that Foster Disbelief has, as of a few mere moments ago, received one of the most sought after endorsements possible.  Try to stay calm folks.  Deep breath…

Foster Disbelief is now officially endorsed by Jesus Christ.

Shocking, isn’t it?  I know.

Now you may be wondering exactly how I got Jesus Christ, who according to the Christian religion is the only son of the almighty God, a full one third of the Holy Trinity, the so-called holy lamb of God himself, to endorse a little read progressive atheist blog that openly mocks not only the religion named for him, but also the man himself.  And believe me, I never would have thought that Jesus Christ would ever mention my blog, let alone provide me with an official endorsement of my views questioning his existence until today, when I read the story of Anna Pierre over at Dispatches from the Culture Wars.  After reading her story, I thought to myself, “self, if this obviously crazy person can get endorsed by Jesus Christ, then my little blog has a chance!”  Since, apparently, Jesus isn’t very selective in who he endorses.  I guess most people just never think to ask, otherwise I’m sure everyone would be sporting “Endorsed by Jesus Christ!” buttons and stickers.

While Anna Pierre chose flyers as the method to announce Jesus’ endorsement of her for Mayor of North Miami, I think I am going to create a little “Endorsed By Jesus” widget for my site.

Anyway, here is a pic of Anna’s flyer, while I try to chase down some other Gods to see what other endorsements I can get for Foster Disbelief!

jesus-endorsement

Your Congress in Action

I feel your pain, Phil.

Phil Plait has an article at Slate today that should cause every rational persons head to smack off their desk at least once while reading.  The resulting headache is not the fault of everyone’s favorite bad astronomer, however, rather the blame lies with one Republican Rep. Dan Burton, who represents Indiana and the lunatic fringe.

The Committee on Oversight and Government Reform held a hearing trying to look into the cause and prevention of autism. Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.) launched into a several-minute diatribe (beginning at 12:58 in the video above) that starts off in an Orwellian statement: He claims he’s not antivax. Then he launches into a five-minute speech that promotes long-debunked and clearly incorrect antivax claims, targeting mercury for the most part. Burton has long been an advocate for quackery; for at least a decade he has used Congressional situations like this to promote antiscience.

In the latest hearing, Burton sounds like a crackpot conspiracy theorist, to be honest, saying he knows—better than thousands of scientists who have spent their careers investigating these topics—that thimerosal causes neurological disorders (including autism). He goes on for some time about mercury (as does Rep. Dennis Kucinitch (D-Ohio) starting at 21:44 in the video), making it clear he doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about. For example, very few vaccines still use mercury, and the ones that do use it in tiny amounts and in a form that does not accumulate in the body.

Talking about the danger of mercury in vaccines is like talking about the danger of having hydrogen—an explosive element!—in water. It’s nonsense.

I won’t go further into details, because this shameful travesty of truth and medical health goes on for an hour.

Go ahead over to Slate and read the whole piece.  Then go to Forbes and read Steven Salzberg’s article on this farce.

Sorry, no snark here.  Like Phil, this just pisses me off.

Go.

Read.

 

Things More Likely Than Bigfoot, Part 1

As we await the definitive proof of the existence of Sasquatches (Sasquatchi) to clear peer review and be published, we here at Foster Disbelief will pass the time with a new series: Things More Likely Than Bigfoot!

For part one of our series, we will travel to Zarozje, Serbia, by way of Salon:

“One should always remain calm, it’s important not to frighten him, you shouldn’t make fun of him,” said villager Mico Matic, 56, whose house is not far from the collapsed mill.

Oh, a collapsed mill?  My interest is peaked!  Who is this mysterious “him.”

Some locals say it’s easy for strangers to laugh at them, but they truly believe.

“Five people have recently died one after another in our small community, one hanging himself,” said Miodrag Vujetic, a local municipal council member. “This is not by accident.”

Five deaths, one by hanging?  Outsiders laughing at the superstitious locals?  I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.  Do go on.

“He is just one of the neighbors, you do your best to be on friendly terms with him,” he said with a wry smile, displaying garlic from both of his trouser pockets.

So apparently you will be fine if you just treat this mysterious “him” in kind ways, as any other neighbor.  I’m sure, however, this “him” is vicious if you cross him.  Wait.  Did he say garlic?

“The story of Sava Savanovic is a legend, but strange things did occur in these parts back in the old days,” said 55-year-old housewife Milka Prokic, holding a string of garlic in one hand and a large wooden stake in another, as an appropriately moody mist rose above the surrounding hills. “We have inherited this legend from our ancestors, and we keep it alive for the younger generations.”

Yes, he said garlic.  And she is holding a wooden stake.  Which means that old Sava is a, wait for it, vampire!  (Cue ominous music.)

But before you reach for your crosses and stakes, prior to making a trip to Whole Foods for some garlic cloves, realize that these locals may not be warning you of this vampiric menace out of the purest of motives.  Just like American politics, this is all about the money.

They say rumors that a legendary vampire ghost has awakened are spreading fear – and a potential tourist opportunity – through the remote village.

A local council warned villagers to put garlic in their pockets and place wooden crosses in their rooms to ward off vampires, although it appeared designed more to attract visitors to the impoverished region bordering Bosnia.

Remember the council member talking about the five deaths earlier?  His further statements:

Vujetic, however, said that “whatever is true about Sava,” locals should use the legend to promote tourism.

“If Romanians could profit on the Dracula legend with the tourists visiting Transylvania, why can’t we do the same with Sava?”

If you are planning to travel to Europe next year, stop by this region and spend a little money.  It is an impoverished region, and the people in the area have been through hell with the conflicts and war that have taken place in Serbia and Bosnia.  You can hear a vampire legend and go on a vampire search, and help people massively less privileged than yourself.

Who knows?  You may even run into Sava himself.

It is more likely than Bigfoot, after all.

 

 

Exposed: Obama’s Sooper Sekrit Skeem!!!

The jig is up, Mr. Obama.  (If that is your real name.  I’m sure it is really something more Kenyany.)

You may have succeeded in conning a majority of the country into believing you were born in Hawaii instead of Kenya, duping the fools into thinking you are a Christian rather than the Muslim you obviously are, even fooling the dupes into accepting your sham marriage to Michelle (secretly a KGB agent, but that is for another post) to cover up your murderous homosexual past.  But now you have gone too far, stepped over the line, crossed a bridge too far, and other assorted metaphors.  Frank Porter Stansberry has you dead to rights, and once the God fearing American people break away from the liberal media machine and hear the truth, the cries for your impeachment will be impossible to ignore.

Both Mother Jones and Ed Brayton are already attempting to discredit Stansberry’s revelation, which shows how absolutely terrified the liberal/communist/Nazi/Islamic/demonic cartel are that the people will hear the truth.  When they employee character assassins like Mother Jones and known Satanists like Brayton, you know they are scared.

Mr. Stansberry, you are a true patriot, and Foster Disbelief will help you spread the word!  (Click the link for the slideshow explaining Obama’s sinister scheme.  Seriously, click it!  Click it now!!!! )

Did you click it?

Are you finished laughing?

No?  Need a few more minutes?

While you compose yourself, I’ll let Mother Jones explain the plan to those who didn’t click the link.

Barack Hussein Obama is hatching a secret plot to pull off the ultimate power grab: securing himself a third term in the White House.

At least that’s the narrative being spun by right-wing conspiracy theorists, who seem to believe Obama is modeling his presidency after fictional Nixon in Watchmen.

Among the main proponents of this theory—which comes in several different flavors—is Stansberry & Associates Investment Research, a publishing firm that hawks financial advice—and has a history of promoting dubious claims. Even before the president won reelection, the company began blasting out emails to subscribers of various conservative newsletters, warning of the coming third term of Obama. The emails went out as paid advertisements through the right-leaning Townhall.com, Newsmax, Human Events, and Gingrich Marketplace (a spokesman for Newt Gingrich and the vice president of Human Events both claimed this email blast was a mistake).

The emails alerted readers to a vague—and somewhat counterintuitive—theory: Some unspecified but major event will lead to an epoch of American economic prosperity. Because it will happen under Obama’s watch, he’ll claim full credit and receive an unprecedented boost in approval ratings, giving him a mandate to demand and subsequently obtain a third term

Confused?  If you would have clicked the link you wouldn’t be!  You’d still be laughing. Here is Mr. Stansberry explaining the future in bullet points:

Using vast new powers, I believe Obama will:

  • Greatly increase the size of the Fed’s quantitative easing, leading to massive increases to inflation.
  • Seize control of the entire 401k retirement system, forcing Americans to buy more of our government’s risky debt.
  • Implement vast new taxes across our economy, as they have already done with the health care program and which they will do next by implementing a national sales tax.
  • Continue to expand the welfare rolls by record amounts, buying still more votes, more power and setting the stage for a third Obama term (something I’ll explain in this letter.)
  • Reshape our foreign policy, drawing America into partnerships with dictators and socialists around the world.

Moving on:

Other conspiracymongers who have recently jumped on the Obama-third-term-prophecy bandwagon are radio host Alex Jones—who has featured Stansberry on his show—and birtherism promoter and WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah. Over at the conservative forum Free Republic, commenters have ruminated on a related theory. In this scenarioMichelle Obama runs for president in 2016 and wins, thus allowing Barack to run the government as a shadow president. Among the first to prognosticate an Obama power grab was Rush Limbaugh, who was way ahead of the curve: He predicted a third Obama term in the summer of 2009, when the 44th president had just barely moved into the White House

Why aren’t the people listening?  Why do they continue to allow the commie/fascist/Nazi/Islamic/demonic media to lie to them?  Because of free phones and gifts?  Of course, that is part of it.  But it is also because of people like this:

But, just to double check, we asked a few experts about the Obama-third-term theory. “There is nothing in his tenure as president, nothing that we know of him, that indicates that Barack Obama is going to seek a third term,” David Adler, director of the Andrus Center for Public Policy at Boise State University, told Mother Jones. “Short of a military coup, the 22nd Amendment stands as an insurmountable obstacle to a third-term president today, and there is no evidence to suggest Obama or his supporters are planning on staging a coup. It’s a right-wing fantasy cooked up to try to frighten Americans.”

A likely story.  These CFNID’s are even attempting to slime true patriots like Frank Porter Stansberry!  (Those bastards!)

Stansberry has something of a checkered past when it comes the claims appearing in his newsletters and online videos. In 2010, he released a similar slideshow called “End of America” (77 minutes long), in which he predicted waves of violence and tumult across the United States and the impending implosion of the American economy—an argument that contradicts the premise of “The Third Term.” In 2003, the SEC filed a complaint against him for pushing false information via his financial newsletter. In 2007, Stansberry (and his investment firm, then called Pirate Investor) was ordered by a federal court to pay $1.5 million in civil penalties and restitution. Stansberry Research did not respond to a request for comment.

It is time to call off the attack dogs, Mr. Obama, and come clean with America.  We are on to you, and we will not be silenced!

By the way, if anyone actually manages to sit through the whole slideshow, could you let me know how long it blathers on for?  Thanks.