Perhaps My Favorite Ed Brayton Quote Ever….

Target has become the latest company to take a “soft” stand on the current “right to carry” controversy that has gripped the nation.  (To be blunt, the only reason this is a “controversy” is because some gun owners are fucking morons.)  If you are lucky enough not to be familiar with the issue, in a nutshell some gun owners believe that the 2nd Amendment not only gives them ownership rights to firearms, but also the right to carry their non-concealed instruments of death anywhere they so desire because AMERICA!  These geniuses defend this “right” by openly carrying their guns into restaurants and other businesses, scaring the living fuck out of employees and customers alike because the Bill of Rights doesn’t provide the right not to fear for your life due to the strangers carrying semi-automatic rifles.  In fact, even though it is as American as apple pie and Chevrolet, not even baseball can trump a gun owners right to be a total douche bag.  (Click it.  You know you want to.  It is pure batshit insanity.  Clicky clicky!)

Ed Brayton writes about Target’s response to the issue (to paraphrase Target: Please don’t scare the shit out of our customers and employees.  Please?) over at Dispatches, and hits the old proverbial nail squarely on the head with his closing.

Anyone who thinks that they have a right to take their AR-15 into a restaurant or a retail outlet shouldn’t be allowed to own one.

I know it is a cliched response, but A-fucking-men.

Seriously.  I am not a progressive who believes in completely outlawing firearms.  While I am not a hunter, my father was, and hunting is a rather large part of life here in central PA.  (Kids get the first day of deer season off of school.  I am not kidding.)  I am also rather uncomfortable with the government controlling all the guns.  And the very idea of banning firearms is incredibly impractical.  How is it going to take place, house to house searches?  Yeah, good luck with that one.  That being said, I’m also not sure the 2nd Amendment intends to grant everyone the right to own their own personal assault rifle.  I’m not even sure it intends to grant a right to gun ownership.  We require drivers to be licensed by the state, I do not see the problem in requiring gun owners to be licensed, to have to pass a training course, to have to have trigger locks installed, to have to own a gun safe, and/or various other safety regulations.  I also think that excepting legitimate reasons, guns should only be carried outside the home while hunting or to and from the range.  Gun nuts make the argument that having armed citizens around makes us safer, that if a mad man starts shooting, an armed citizen can save the day.  Yet every year we hear stories of questionable shootings committed by the police, people who are trained in the use of firearms to keep the peace.  Perhaps I don’t have the proper amount of faith in random gun owners, but the thought of untrained men, high on testosterone, pulling their guns and returning fire scares the shit out of me.  For every situation defused by an armed citizen, how many would instead have increased body counts?  As terrifying as the Colorado theater shooting must have been, how much worse could it have been if 2 or 3 civilians with Dirty Harry dreams started to add their bullets to the unfolding chaos?  Perhaps they could have identified the shooter in the dark and ended his rampage early.  Or perhaps they could have taken down a few fleeing patrons with misplaced bullets.

There is no reason to take your assault rifle to Applebee’s, except to rob the store or show off how large you believe your penis to be.  Terrorizing parents and children by waving around your handgun, mocking them with cries of “you can’t stop me” is not a right, in my opinion, it is a crime.  It is so far past time for rational firearm discussion.

Delusion is Strong with this One

Note:  The following post quotes a story that has since been corrected.  Apparently, the statement that homosexuality doesn’t exist in South Williamsport was not actually said.  This blog, unlike the majority of those on the other side of the spectrum, does care about silly things like facts.  I am keeping the post up because the principal’s decision is still repugnant, and I am sure there are people living in the Williamsport area, and in my own Altoona area, who believe homosexuality is something found only in the evil Sodom like lands of the large metropolis.  Just because this principal didn’t proclaim the delusion doesn’t mean others don’t hold it.


Everyday, we walk through a world populated with other members of our species.  For all of us, the vast majority of humanity will forever be strangers, unmet and unnoticed.  Most of those we interact with will also stay strangers, our knowledge of the fellow humans in our social circle increasing with the frequency and nature of contact, ranging from those we see under purely professional circumstances, to acquaintances, to friends, lovers, family.  Those closest to us, we may feel that we know them very well, and we do, in a way.  Yet everyone is a stranger at some level, for we only reside in our own head.  No matter how well we think we understand their thought patterns, no matter how well we feel we can predict their actions, we can never see their actual thoughts.  Each of us owns our own mind, if nothing else.  Does the pastor truly believe the hellfire and brimstone he is spouting from the pulpit or is it just his tactic to fill the collection basket?  Do the cast members honestly think Bigfoot could be in each forest they visit, or are they just grateful for the spot on television?  Does Adam Sandler really think his last ten years of movies are good comedies, or is he on a quest to find out exactly how insulting of a film it takes for the American public to stop paying to see them?  Some questions like this do seem obvious.  For instance, I am fairly certain that neither Ann Coulter or Bill O’Reilly believe every inflammatory statement that they make, that they are to some extent performance artists.  But still, where the actual line between honest belief and publicity seeking lies, only that individual actually knows.

Where am I going with this?  A post over at Dispatches from the Culture Wars got me thinking about the delusions we harbor in our minds,  how they remain hidden unless we ourselves call attention to them, and how well someone can function professionally and socially with a mind that, on some subject, has no grasp on reality.  While I do consider it a delusion, I am not currently referring to religion; the honored place our society reserves for religious beliefs and the sheer number of believers turn a certain level of belief into a helpful delusion in the eyes of many, as long as the religion you delude yourself with is approved by the masses.  No, here I am talking about stranger (although I will certainly admit that believing in ritualized cannibalism of God made flesh, and the idea of God sacrificing Himself to Himself in order for Him to forgive His creations their sins both fit firmly in the “strange” category) and rarer delusions.  Some are mostly harmless.  Does the librarian believe in psychics?  Not likely to matter to me.  Others can be far more disconcerting.  I am willing to bet that at least one member of Congress believes that the Illuminati and the Freemasons secretly control the world.  Perhaps only at the state level, but I am certain that some elected officials believe in reptoids.  Those are delusions I am sure the electorate would wish to be aware of, yet unless they share the belief, it will remain hidden.

It never ceases to amaze me how certain delusions can survive intensive education, how some seem to grow stronger the more contradictory evidence is revealed.  If my doctor believes that autism is caused by vaccines, I want to know so I can quickly find a new doctor, yet even direct questioning will not allow me to know her beliefs for certain.  If I decided to reproduce and my child’s principal or teacher didn’t believe homosexuals lived in our area, I would want to know so I could pay closer attention to the schools policy on social issues.  Which, amusingly enough, is the delusion that set my mind wondering what crazy shit the people I interact with believe.  Here is another link to the post from Ed Brayton:

The principal of a school in Pennsylvania forced the drama department to cancel a production of Monty Python’s Spamalot because two of the characters in it are gay and, she claimed, there are no gay people in their small town so it would be inappropriate.

Dawn Burch, director of the school’s drama department, told WNEP news that Principal Jesse Smith wrote an email to her informing her that homosexuality does not exist in a conservative community such as South Williamsport.

As far as delusions go, this is just about “reptoids are running the government” level crazy.  Ed chalks it up as the bigotry of a small town:

showing gay people in a play? Scandal! Outrage! And, of course, bigotry. Welcome to small town America.

But the delusion is worse than small town bigotry, because honestly, South Williamsport is not a small town.  Pull up a map and you will see that it is fucking part of Williamsport, which is a city!  I once lived in Williamsport.  If you have Google Maps open, my apartment was on W.4th st, right across from the Bullfrog Brewery.  I used to walk to work at Two Boys from Italy along Washington Blvd, and my significant other worked at Wegman’s, right across the river from South Williamsport.  In fact, my downtown apartment, right beside the Community Arts Center, is closer to South Williamsport than my workplace.

This may come as a shock to you all, but there are homosexuals in South Williamsport.  I actually knew homosexuals who lived in South Williamsport.  My best friend in South Williamsport, who I knew at the time as Kevin*, now goes by the name Tiffany* and is in the process of reassignment.  Does this principal believe there are no trans people in South Williamsport as well?  Sorry.  I’d tell the principal that I was in a coven at the time with members from South Williamsport, but I’m afraid finding out there are witches in South Williamsport would explode his brain.

I am willing to concede that South Williamsport has changed some in the decade plus since I lived across the river from it.  I am sure it is a conservative area; my home city of Altoona, Pa is similar in size to Williamsport and is part of the ultra conservative county of Blair.  I am sure that most homosexuals who grew up there got their asses out of dodge as soon as they hit legal age, just as the majority flee Altoona for more progressive areas, but fate and circumstance keep a population within the borders of the city.  Unless every member of the GLBTQ community moved from South Williamsport to Altoona, this principal’s belief is indeed a delusion.  A delusion that is frightening for a public school official to hold.

*names changed to protect my friend from transphobia.

See?! Rich People Really Do Go to Jail Sometimes.

Finally, some justice!

After CNN reported back in April that the heirs to massive fortunes can literally rape toddlers and not go to prison, perhaps you had some worrying thoughts about our justice system and the influence of money on the outcomes of criminal trials.  Well now…  What is that?  That isn’t the proper usage of the word “literally” you say?  When exaggerating for affect I should use the word “figuratively” in my sentence?

I see the problem.  I wasn’t exaggerating in the previous sentence.  He actually raped a toddler.  Seriously.  And got a suspended sentence.  Proof:

Though Robert H. Richards IV was convicted of rape, the wealthy heir to the du Pont family fortune was spared prison by a Delaware court in 2009 because he would “not fare well” behind bars, according to court documents CNN obtained Tuesday.

Richards is a great-grandson of the chemical magnate Irenee du Pont.

He received an eight-year prison sentence in 2009 for raping his toddler daughter, but the sentencing order signed by a Delaware judge said “defendant will not fare well” in prison and the eight years were suspended.

Richards was placed on eight years’ probation and ordered to get treatment and register as a sex offender, the documents show. He was also prohibited from having contact with children under 16, including his own children.

The documents were never sealed, yet the ruling managed to go unnoticed until March, when Richards’ former wife, Tracy Richards, filed a lawsuit in Delaware Superior Court on behalf of their children alleging “personal injuries arising from the childhood sexual abuse.” The 11-page suit alleges that not only was their daughter abused, but Richards abused their son, too. The suit seeks unspecified monetary damages.

Believe me, you are forgiven for assuming I was exaggerating.  Now what was I saying there….  Oh, that’s it.

Fear not, furious readers!  The justice system once again faced down a similar situation, and this time, justice was served.  Turning to Ed Brayton for the story, over at Dispatches from the Culture Wars:

And now we have a similar case, an heir to the Johnson and Johnson fortune getting only 4 months in jail (likely only two) for molesting his 12 year old stepdaughter.

The billionaire heir to the SC Johnson company’s fortune — who confessed to repeatedly sexually assaulting his teenage stepdaughter — received a four-month jail sentence on Friday from a Racine, WI judge who cited the Johnson family’s importance in the community.

Milwaukee’s Channel 4 News reported that Circuit Judge Eugene Gasiorkiewicz told 59-year-old defendant Samuel Curtis Johnson III that “you could not grow up in this community and not know some of the people involved in this case.”

According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Johnson plead guilty to misdemeanor charges of fourth-degree sexual assault and disorderly conduct rather than the felony sexual assault on a minor child charges he originally faced in 2011.

The reality is that we don’t have a criminal justice system in this country, we have two of them — one for rich people and one for the rest of us. If you have money, you can get away with almost anything — except, of course, stealing from other rich people.

Mr. Brayton, you should watch that attitude.  Two months, and possibly 4!!!! months in prison in Rich White People Time?  Hell, that is like 10 years in poor people time.  25(!) in black people time.  He’s doing the Rich White People equivalent of hard time.  Have mercy, it is almost capital punishment.



Silly Rabbit, Jail isn’t for Rich People.


“It’s a Fair Cop”

So have you heard the one about the police chief in Pennsylvania who hates the U.N., carries a M-16 while on patrol, makes Youtube videos of himself shooting assault rifles while threatening “libtards,” claims that the founding fathers would have started executing liberals years ago, refers to Democrats as “un-American,” “vile,” “scum,” who “hate their country,” and calls his critics “communist cocksuckers”?

Continue reading

Help, Help, I’m Being Oppressed!

It has been horrible.  All my life, I have lived with the yoke of oppression, cursed by my gender and the color of my skin, discriminated against in ways I never even realized.  It is only because of Suzanne Venker and the important work that she has done to call attention to the plight of others like me that I am finally able to recognize the hate and the prejudice I have been the target of for all these years.  If only I was born in a different time, where this open bigotry was not tolerated, what my life could have been, what roads would have been cleared, what doors opened.  Thank you, Suzanne.  Thank you for your piece on FoxNews, which has finally given me the courage to proudly look at the world and shout:

I’m a white male, and I am sick of being a second class citizen!

Funny, isn’t it?  All those years I thought being a white male gifted me with, I don’t know, white male privilege, and it turns out I was the one being discriminated against.  It seems that when we give women equal rights under the law those rights are somehow stripped from me?  Like there aren’t enough rights to go around or something?  Let’s unpack this, with a hat tip to Ed Brayton over at Dispatches.…:

The truth is, men have become second-class citizens.

The most obvious proof is male bashing in the media. It is rampant and irrefutable. From sit-coms and commercials that portray dad as an idiot to biased news reports about the state of American men, males are pounced on left and right. And that’s just the beginning.

Awww.  Poor men!  Are their feefee’s hurt?  Do they need a hug?  Wait a second….I’m a man!  Why am I not curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing over the endless attacks my sex suffers in the media?There is a lot of shit in this article.  Claims about Title IX and the Violence Against Women Act, and various other claims.  I’ll be honest with you, I really don’t feel it is worth the effort to refute it.  The article is just claims thrown at the wall.  The sources she quotes come from the WSJ opinion page and a female psychologist who is a Men’s Rights Advocates wet dream.  Perhaps her book is better referenced, and perhaps I will take the time to read it and respond to it.  But this article is just so much MRA bullshit.  Feel free to read it at your leisure, and look into the claims yourself if you feel the need.  The end of her article says everything I need to know:

 Yet it is males who suffer in our society. From boyhood through adulthood, the White American Male must fight his way through a litany of taunts, assumptions and grievances about his very existence. His oppression is unlike anything American women have faced. Unlike women, however, men don’t organize and form groups when they’ve been persecuted. They just bow out of the game.

America needs to wake up. We have swung the pendulum too far in the other direction—from a man’s world to a woman’s world.

That’s not equality. That’s revenge.

Oh fucking please.  We have to fight through what?  That’s not revenge, it is MRA bullshit!

Your Science Lesson of the Day

A h/t to Ed Brayton for letting us know this site existed.



Here’s a bit of trivia you can use to wow your friends with at the bar.  I’m sure I’ll find many more facts from this site to share with everyone.  From the Creation Science Hall of Fame:

Key elements of the Hydroplate Theory will help any reader understand why comets, and their orbits, could date the Global Flood. To review: when God created the heavens and the earth, He created two compartments of water on the earth. One compartment became the early seas. The other became a subcrustal ocean.

See, we’re going to use comets to date the Global Flood.  You know, that thing that never happened.  Pay attention.  So we have this subcrustal ocean.  What’s that you ask?  Jesus….

The Apostle Peter makes this abundantly clear, but only if you correctly read the original. The New American Standard Bible (copyright: the Lockman Foundation) renders that verse thus:

They willfully ignore this fact: that by the word of God the heavens existed long ago and the earth was formed out of water and by water.

Or, if you read the original Greek words and know their roots, it should read in part:

The earth formed itself standing-together out of the water.

Standing. On what? On pillars that held up the dry land. Underneath that land: water. Or to be more specific, a subcrustal ocean.

Plainly obvious.  Now the moon is going to cook this water.

In the centuries that followed Creation, the moon would pull on the land, and let it fall, a little slower than twice a day. This tidal pumping heated the subcrustal ocean to a supercritical temperature. And because the massive crust confined it, this water was also under supercritical pressure. This condition creates a supercritical fluid – liquid and vapor dissolving one another.

Then the crust is going to fail.  Believe me, stepping on this crack would certainly break your mothers back….

“In the six hundredth year of the life of Noah, in the second month, in the seventeenth day of the month,” the crust failed. (Genesis 7:11) That failure happened roughly where the Mid-Oceanic Ridge now stands. The failure began as a crack, literally microscopic in breadth. This crack rapidly widened and lengthened, until it ran the full length of the present Mid-Oceanic Ridge system. (The Mid-Oceanic Ridge is 46,000 miles long and wraps around the earth like the stitched seam of a baseball.)

All that water came rushing out of its subcrustal chamber, at hypersonic speed. It eroded the land mass for about 400 miles to either side. Beneath it, the floor of the chamber buckled up, now that all the weight pressing on it abruptly lifted. The two parts of the land mass slid down the slope that thus formed. North and South America fell away to the west, and Europe and Africa to the east. When they eventually crashed, they crushed and buckled up, to form the mountain chains we know today. (Note: Mount Everest did not rear itself up until late in the Flood year. So we have no reason to suppose that the Flood waters covered Mount Everest as Mount Everest.)

So the next time one of your hellbound friends mocks the flood by stating how much water would be needed to cover Mount Everest, just give them that pitying look that says “you are so ignorant and stupid, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship by telling you that out loud.”  You know, the one they always give you.

And some of the water, rock and mud that came rushing out of that chamber did not fall back to earth. A large amount, about one percent of the total mass of the earth, is still in space. It went into orbit around the sun, moved beyond earth’s gravitational influence, and then accreted to form several types of objects. These objects persist as the comets, asteroids, and meteoroids of today.

Now this is science!  Not that Satan spawn shit spewed out by college textbooks, public schools, and the National Geographic channel, but real, God fearing, Bible believing science.  Remember, if you can’t twist it in some insanely complicated way to agree with the Bible, then it is Satanscience and you have my permission to cover your ears and yell “Get behind me, Satan!  and no staring at my good Christian ass either!”

Now there is a lot of complicated insane twisting that dates certain comets back to this event, but this is just a blog post, not a graduate level class in Creation Science, so if you want all the hilarity totally backed up by evidence details you can read them at your leisure.  I’m going to skip ahead a bit….

The most-likely date for a “cluster of perihelia” is 3344.5 BC. That is, January of 3344 BC, and six months further back in the past from then. That would put those comets at perihelion in the summer of 3345 BC. Dr. Brown estimates greater than 96 percent confidence for this date. He further estimates an error of about one year.

This, of course, is the most statistically likely perihelion date for these comets. Such a tight clustering of these five comets near earth’s orbit any time in the last 6,000 years (the range of possible flood dates) would only occur by chance less than 4% of the time. As a surprising bonus, this date of convergence coincides with one specific biblically derived date for the flood, as explained below.

These comets would have launched about halfway through autumn in the year of the Global Flood. The annalists of the Global Flood year (Shem, Ham, and Japheth, sons of Noah) state that the Global Flood broke out “in the second month, in the seventeenth day of the month.” Noah and his sons, in those days, used a calendar with a 360-day year and a 30-day month, with the first month beginning with the autumnal equinox. (Moses would receive a Divine directive to reckon the year from the first full moon past the vernal equinox in the year of the Exodus.)

Thus these comets, and all other comets, launched in autumn of the year 3345 BC, give or take a year. This, then, is a good astronomical date range for the Global Flood.

Q. E. Mutha Fuckin’ D.  Suck on that, SatanScience!  So now we have the date, and the method, what will this mean to other subjects?

We now have a firm astronomical date for the Global Flood. This date by itself validates the most comprehensive (and comprehensible) model anyone has yet invented for the Global Flood. But it also carries weighty implications for many other disciplines, including without limitation:

  • Human biology, and especially human longevity.
  • The poisoning of the atmosphere by the carbon-14 that the Global Flood dumped into it.
  • History of ancient Mesopotamia, including Chaldean, Aramean (ancient Syrian), and Babylonian history.
  • Egyptology.
  • Assyriology.
  • History of Judaism.

This new date will force many scholars to lay aside many of their most cherished positions. It will do this by giving the strongest piece of direct evidence not only that the Global Flood happened, but exactly when. And when many other events occurred as well.

The Holy Bible, subject to the proper choice of manuscripts, now stands as the Gold-standard Historical Record. All other historical records must stand (or fall) on their synchrony (or lack of it) with the Bible.

So the next time someone calls you an ignorant halfwit, or tries to explain the so called proofs of an old earth to you, or suggests that you take a science class, or just gives you that look that you know oh so well, remember that they are going to burn in hell for all of eternity and you will get to watch them suffer and plead with you to ease their pain while you laugh at them.

Oh, and that our science is right!

Screw the “Rainbow Curtain,” Those Bastards Just Toppled My Breakfast!!!

It started off as a good morning.  My group at the clinic was actually almost interesting, I spent yesterday hiking so my legs have that satisfied dull ache of time well spent, and it was raining this morning; hard enough that it was cool outside and comfortable for my chow during our morning walk, yet soft enough that I wasn’t rushing through it to get back into the dry house.  In fact, I even took off my rain parka halfway through when it became more of a mist than a rain.  All in all a good start to the day.

Until I sat down at the computer with my breakfast to catch up on some blogs.  You see, I went over to Dispatches from the Culture War and learned a very disturbing fact before I was even 1/4th of the way through my bagel.  Other people, including some who happen to be homosexual, eat lunch, and by implication, also eat breakfast!

Suddenly, the cream cheese on my bagel tasted sour.  The milk in my cereal instantly spoiled.  The nut covered raisins shriveled as the lightly sweetened flakes turned stale.  Other people eat breakfast?  How dare they!  Breakfast is my meal.  The knowledge that other people are also eating food in the morning makes my breakfast meaningless.  I mean, what is the point of eating breakfast if other people, especially gay people, are allowed to do it as well?

Look.  Breakfast is a sacred meal that I eat that connects me to the food producers, the farmers, bakers, factory workers, truck drivers, supermarket employee’s, and cows that come together to provide my morning sustenance.  It is prepared in a specific way, and always accompanied by good coffee and reading materials.  Who knows how all these countless other people are profaning my morning meal?  Someone may be putting butter on a bagel.  Or drinking Maxwell House coffee instead of grinding their own coffee beans.  And I bet Ray Comfort cuts up a banana for his cereal.  Fucking blasphemy.  And I don’t even want to think about what kinky filth is involved in homosexual breakfast.

They have toppled my breakfast.  Here is what lunch eater, Ed Brayton, had to say on the issue, first quoting from a column by some megachurch pastor:

From their juridical lair, the liberal Gang of Five recently set off a catalytic charge toppling traditional marriage – the last principled pillar upholding Uncle Sam’s home.

Really? Traditional marriage was toppled? You mean straight people are going to stop getting married? Stop having kids? Stop loving their families? Indeed, how will any marriage be affected in any way because others are allowed to get married too? When other people get to eat lunch, does that somehow diminish your lunch? Has your lunch been toppled?

You really should go over to Ed’s blog and read the article.  It is about megachurch pastor Dan Cummins’ insane overreaction to the Supreme Court rulings on gay marriage.  It is worth reading, if only to find out about the “Rainbow Curtain” destined to fall on our nation, and Janet Napolitano’s supposed plot to use foreign armies to enforce marriage equality.  I’d comment further, but I’m too busy mourning my toppled breakfast.