The Fall of Governor Ultrasound

Strange.  It seems that throwing your wife under the bus is not the key to acquittal.  I’d say that the ex-Governor should ask his lawyers for his money back, but who am I kidding?  McDonnell’s lawyer was probably another “gift.”

It seems like it was only yesterday that Virginian Governor Bob McDonnell was dominating the news cycle, insisting that Republican lawmakers such as himself knew better than medical doctors.  He was the elected Governor of the State of Virginia, a position that gave him the knowledge and the expertise to realize that what women truly needed before having an abortion was an ultrasound wand slammed inside of them as part of a medically unneeded procedure.  When the medical professionals opposed him, arguing that the ultrasound was unnecessary and invasive, he argued that forcing women to undergo a procedure that they did not want was in their best interest.  “What gives these smug medical doctors the right to disagree with me?,” I am sure he thought to himself during the controversy. “Sure, they went to medical school, and did all of that outrageous work it takes to become a doctor,” he almost certainly continued, talking to himself out loud as he walked through his house, “but I am the one who got elected Governor, and more important than that, I went to Regent!”

In spite of his M.A./J.D. from Christian Broadcasting Network University (which changed its name to Regent University for some unknown reason), doctors still claimed the invasive ultrasounds were medically unnecessary. Thanks to pundits such as Rachel Maddow nicknaming him “Governor Ultrasound” and refusing to shut up like good little media lapdogs and let the elected men run this country like God intended,  this was starting to threaten his national political aspirations.  Insisting that sluts have wands shoved inside them for no relevant reason may play in parts of Virginia and other southern states, but so would stoning white women who take part in interracial relationships, removing the right to vote from non-whites and those not in possession of a penis, and “fixing” income inequality through a complicated system of forced servitude.  On a national platform, legislating the forced entry of any object into vaginas is not a political winner.  So Governor Bob backed off a bit.  The sluts would still have to pay for a medically unnecessary ultrasound, but they would be spared the insertion of the wand into their body.  Whether or not each procedure was to be witnessed by a clinic protester, with sign, pulled into the office off the street to shout hellfire at the patient by Government order is unknown.  Yet even with this concession to the evil Satan sexting women, they would not let poor Bob alone: (When he went on national talk shows to talk about his policies.)

The host asked the governor a pretty straightforward question: “You backed an abortion bill initially that included a very invasive procedure as part of an ultrasound that the state would have required and then you backed off of that. Were you wrong to support that initially or did you simply back off because the political heat got turned up the way it did?”

What a vile smear-disguised-as-a-question  by noted left wing attack hound David Gregory!*  The way the press went after Governor McDonnell, you would think that he publicly endorsed a proposal to require women, against the wishes of physicians, to undergo an invasive, medically-unnecessary procedure, because some right-wing culture warriors wanted to shame patients, and when that became politically toxic, ended up signing an only-slightly-less outrageous measure that still requires Virginians to undergo state-mandated, medically-unnecessary ultrasounds, to satisfy the demands of far-right activists.  What slander.  Let’s look at the facts:

He publicly endorsed a proposal to require women, against the wishes of physicians, to undergo an invasive, medically-unnecessary procedure, because some right-wing culture warriors want to shame patients. McDonnell ended up signing an only-slightly-less outrageous measure that still requires Virginians to undergo state-mandated, medically-unnecessary ultrasounds, to satisfy the demands of far-right activists.

See?!?  Oh, the things poor Governor Ultrasound had to deal with.  And after all his maneuvering to be the obvious choice for Vice President, Mitt went ahead and picked equally-insane-but-much-more-attractive Paul Ryan to add “failed Vice Presidential candidate” to his CV.  While stewing over not being chosen, Governor Ultrasound almost certainly sat at his desk, stroking a black cat with white ears.  I totally believe that he then said, “You will regret this, Romney.”   “Sure, one or two homosexuals may ignore your policies and vote for you because of Paul’s sculpted abs, his bulging biceps, his stylish hair, and his hypnotic eyes,” he would have said if I was writing a script for a gay porn film with this plot, as he tried to ignore his engorged member.  “But I am a culture warrior, Mitt.  I was going to make doctors give it to those sluts, no matter what their medical opinion was,” he more than likely shouted to the empty office, before turning on the intercom and asking the secretary to send in Steven, the new intern with the deep blue eyes and lips that made you wonder.  “Tell him to lock the door behind him, Stella, and you can go home for the rest of the day as well,” he finished telling the secretary, in this fantasy version of the Governor’s Mansion as he undid his belt.  “I was a culture warrior,” he could have sighed.

It seemed like only yesterday.  I am sure the former Governor of Virginia longs for those yesterdays, no matter how disappointing it was to be passed over for an office taken so seriously that Sarah Palin was the previous candidate for his party, no matter how annoying it was to be called “Governor Ultrasound” by openly sinning homosexuals, no matter how disgusting it was to have to spend time talking about that icky pit of sin that women have between their legs, for now Governor Ultrasound is facing years spent with convicts who feel he should have to submit to forced internal ultrasounds**, if he is unfortunate enough to drop the soap.

Yes, the mighty Governor is guilty.

Jurors in the public corruption trial of former Virginia governor Robert F. McDonnell and his wife, Maureen, have found the couple guilty of several corruption counts. The McDonnells faced a 14-count indictment that alleged that they lent the prestige of the governor’s office to a Richmond area businessman and that, in exchange, the businessman lavished them with gifts and money.


the verdict — Robert McDonnell guilty of 11 charges; Maureen McDonnell guilty of nine, we will have to wait until the couple’s sentencing Jan. 6 to know what their fate will be. The couple could face decades in federal prison, though their actual sentence could fall well short of that.

The jury of seven men and five women spent nearly three days deliberating before announcing a verdict that left members of the McDonnell family in tears. The verdict, writes The Post’s Matt Zapotosky and Rosalind S. Helderman, sends a message that jurors, ” . . . believed the couple sold the office once occupied by Patrick Henry and Thomas Jefferson to a free spending Richmond businessman for golf outings, lavish vacations and $120,000 in sweetheart loans.”

Note: the jury did acquit the couple of several charges pending against them — both were acquitted of lying on loan documents — but the verdict means, jurors thought the McDonnell’s lent the prestige of the governor’s office to former Star Scientific CEO Jonnie R. Williams Sr. in a nefarious exchange for his largesse.

Poor Gov. Ultrasound.  He just wanted to be Vice President and to force doctors to shove things into dirty, slutty vaginas.  After all, it was the only way to make those stupid sinning seductresses realize that a pregnancy resulted in a baby being born, and abortion is the murder of babies, not a cosmetic procedure that removes body fat, firms up the breasts, tones the buttocks and thighs, and is a feel good milestone in a woman’s life, one that all women should experience as much as possible, like Planned Parenthood teaches.

I bet his wife snuck in to the jury room and cast a feminist spell on the jury, forcing them to convict the innocent McDonnell.  Before you even say it, she had to let herself get convicted as well, otherwise the conspiracy would have been exposed.  Don’t worry, Obama will pardon her.  Just you wait and see.  Planned Parenthood got to her, and told her that they wouldn’t let her have anymore abortions if she didn’t get him in trouble with the law.  Planned Parenthood is like that; the first abortion is free, and after that they got you hooked.  Next thing you know they have you accusing some poor man of rape to get your next abortion fix.

Our doomed nation.


*It physically hurt to write that sentence, even as satire.

**I apologize for that.  With rape culture as bad as it is, I probably shouldn’t be making a rape joke, even a prison rape joke.  But this is Gov. Ultrasound, who was trying to make women who wanted an abortion submit to having another person insert an object into their vagina for no medical reason, no matter what the woman herself or her doctor thought, which is veering quite near to state-sponsored rape, so I couldn’t resist one prison rape jab.  And he was enough of a bastard to try to get off by blaming his wife and painting her as a crazy, vindictive bitch, so fuck that guy.

Gov. Bob McDonnell Acquitted!!! Take that, Dems.

It is official.  After a disgusting campaign to smear and tarnish the reputation of former Virginian Governor Bob McDonnell, the jury has returned and vindicated the Republican, acquitting him and his wife of ludicrous charges of falsifying loan documents.  Public apologies to the defendants should be required from both the prosecutors office and the liberal media.  He should sue them for defamation of character.

Both were acquitted on charges of falsifying loan documents.

See?  Just ignore the part that came before that:

A Virginia jury has found former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell and his wife, Maureen, guilty of numerous counts of corruption during their time in the executive mansion. Bob McDonnell was found guilty on 11 corruption charges while Maureen was found guilty of eight corruption charges and one obstruction of justice charge.

Who cares?  He is innocent!  Of 3 out of 14 charges!

Schedule the parade.  Book him on The Factor!  Have Rush clear an hour of his imbecilic ravings.  He’s as innocent as O.J.

Election Rigging 101

When the Tea Party Republicans were swept into office by way of the 2010 wave election on the promise of fiscal conservatism, most members of the reality-based community probably shrugged their shoulders with the thought, “how much harm can they do with one congressional term?”  When they quickly turned their backs on pledges to work on fiscal matters to ram through as many anti-abortion bills as they could think up, I’m sure the thought. “Oh, so that’s how much damage they can do with one congressional term!” was on the minds of many rational people.  As bad as the War on Women is, however, 201o was also a census year, so in addition to countless horrible anti-choice bills, the new Republicans now controlling many state legislatures also got the chance to influence the drawing of congressional districts.

Now let’s not lie to each other.  When Democrats control the state legislatures, they gerrymander the hell out of districts as well.  This is not a case where one party is pure and innocent.  When we finally wake up and begin to reform our government, removing any authority on the make up of congressional districts from partisan hands will be high on my list of things that need changed, perhaps right behind the end of single representative districts.  I seriously wonder what they were smoking when they decided to give the power to draw districts to the very people who get elected from those districts.  It is a fact of the current political landscape; if the democrats are in power during a census year, the districts will favor the democrats, if republicans are in power, the map will favor them.  In all likely hood, the GOP only still controls the House nationally because of the gerrymandering of 2010/2011.  As you know if you pay attention, and/or care, I live in Pennsylvania.  If anyone has any question whether congressional districts are redrawn because of partisan influence, look for a map of my states new districts.  It is good for comedy, if nothing else.

A related bipartisan (depending on who is in power) horrible idea is making the rounds again this year; the awarding of Electoral votes by Congressional district.  A bill to do this was just introduced (again) in the PA House.  Two states, Maine and Nebraska, already award their electoral votes this way, and on the surface it does seem to have its merits.  Under this system, instead of a states electoral votes going to the winner of the popular vote in the state, they are instead awarded to the winner of each congressional district.  Currently, this is a GOP idea, since with the current landscape, the majority of PA’s electoral votes would have been awarded to Mitt Romney this year, instead of to Obama.  During the Bush years, this was a Democratic idea, as the dems thought it would help them in places like Colorado.

Thankfully, most years that this idea is brought back from the trash heap, it poses little danger of becoming law.  Either politicians feel it would be seen as too much of a power grab, or they realize that while it may benefit their party this year, it may hurt them in years to come.

Dispatches from the Culture Wars has a post up on the hypocrisy of both sides over this issue, in which Ed expresses the same opinion I have on the Electoral College:

My position, at least, is consistent — all such proposals should be eliminated, including the electoral college. Every single vote should count exactly the same and the popular vote should determine the winner.

Speaking of Hate-filled Rhetoric, Here’s Bryan Fischer

First from Raw Story:

“Hispanics are not Democrats, don’t vote Democrat because of immigration,” the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer said in video posted by Right Wing Watch on Tuesday. “It has to do with the fact that they are socialists by nature. They come from Mexico, which is a socialist country. They want big government intervention, they want big government goodies.”

“Now they want open borders — make no mistake — because they’ve got family and friends that they want to come up and be able to benefit from the plunder of the wealth of the United States, just as they have been able to do.

He continued: “Republicans can pander all they want to Hispanics, to immigrants and it will not work. There is no way on Earth you care going to get them to leave the Democratic Party. It’s one reason we got to clamp down on immigration.”    (Bolding is mine)

Let’s follow the link over to Right Wing Watch:

In the wake of last week’s devastating election losses, Republican leaders and conservative activists are beginning to rethink the party’s traditional hardline stance on the issue of immigration.  Sensing that the GOP can no longer win national elections by just appealing to white male voters, conservative leaders have started to suggest that taking a more moderate stance on immigration might help the party make inroads with Latino voters … but Bryan Fischer is having none of it.

On Friday’s program, Fischer said that America never had a problem with immigration when the bulk of the immigrants came from Europe because they shared our heritage, values, and worldview. But recently, most immigration has been coming from non-European third-world countries where people do not possess the Protestant Work Ethic and expect the government to take care of them.   (bolding,blah, blah, mine)

“America never had a problem with immigration when the bulk of the immigrants” were white.  Just say it, Bryan.  While certain sane factions of the GOP are coming to grips with the demographic shift in the nation and realizing that the “southern strategy” has become a millstone around the neck in national elections, Bryan doubles down on the “otherizing” of a racial group.  They aren’t “Real Americans.”  They are lazy socialists.  They need to be defeated, not included.

I’m sorry Bryan, but it is hard to feel that Christian love when it is surrounded by so much hate.

The video is after the jump.

Continue reading

*blink* …..

I guess stories like this aren’t all that surprising.  After all, the right wing media has spent years explaining in great detail how the reelection of Barack Obama would lead to the utter destruction of the family, the Constitution, Christianity, and America.  Rhetoric has power.  Look to the anti-abortion movement for a prime example.  If you call abortion providers “murderers,” if you compare legal abortion to the “Holocaust,” if you claim that stopping an abortion is saving an innocent life, then some mentally imbalanced people are going to take you at your word.  They aren’t going to settle for voting and protesting.  They are going to join Army’s of God, and they are going to bomb clinics and shoot doctors.

I am a free speech absolutist.  Cranks have every right to be cranks, and are free to shout their idiocy from the rooftops if they so desire.  But people need to be responsible with their speech, especially those with an audience who wield influence over others.  If you publish an anti-abortion website containing the names and home addresses of abortion providers, and keep track of which ones are killed by crossing them off the list with a big red “X”, do you bear responsibility in any form when another doctor on your list is killed?  Perhaps not legally, but I’d argue that morally, part of the responsibility is yours.  Rhetoric has power.

The far right media machine has convinced a large segment of the US population that Obama is, at the same time, a Muslim, Nazi, Socialist, Communist, Atheist, from Kenya who attends a radical racist Christian church.  They told their followers that an Obama win would spell doom for America.  They turned the rhetoric meter up to 11.  Is it a surprise that part of the nation is treating Obama’s reelection as if it were the end of the world?  That “secession” has become, as eye-roll worthy as it may be, a thing?

Anyway, the story:

A Key West man who told his partner that “if Barack gets re-elected, I’m not going to be around” was found dead on Nov. 8, with the words “F— Obama!” scrawled on his will and two empty prescription bottles nearby.

No, I am not saying that right wing propaganda is the cause of this suicide.  Yes, the man was clearly mentally unstable; the prescriptions treated anxiety and schizophrenia.

All I am saying is that rhetoric has power.  Perhaps we can all make our points without the “1000 years of darkness,” “end of America,” “God will judge us for our vote” shit?


It is currently debatable whether our biggest threat of terrorism comes from radical Islam or the far right wing of America.


Rhetoric has power, and consequences.

I’m Not Saying Wichita, Kansas Jumped the Shark….

But Wichita had their water skis strapped on and there was a shark in the area, so draw your own conclusions.

Via Dispatches from the Culture Wars, I bring you this fine example of Democracy Gone Wild!!!

I somehow missed this result from last week’s election. The city of Wichita, Kansas actually passed an ordinance banning the use of fluoride in that city’s drinking water supply. And the organizers of the campaign to enact that ban say they’re now going to reproduce it in other cities and states around the country:

Advocates who led the successful fight against adding fluoride to Wichita’s water say they will work to get their message out across the state and the nation.

Wichita voters on Tuesday rejected a proposal to add fluoride to the city’s water by a 60 percent to 40 percent margin. Although three-fourths of the country fluoridates its water, the anti-fluoride movement is gaining traction across the nation, Jonathan Hall, of Wichitans Against Fluoridation, said after the vote.

“We’re part of the upcoming wave of change,” he said…

Both Mark Gietzen, president of the Kansas Republican Assembly, and Hall said that the anti-fluoride forces plan to continue their efforts.

“We’re definitely going to take this statewide; we’re not going to quit,” Gietzen said.

Fluoride?  Really people?  Fluoride?

I ‘m assuming that my readers tend to be on the skeptical side, so I am not going to insult your intelligence by explaining how absolutely fucking crazy banning fluoride from municipal water supplies is.  It makes anti-vaxxers look like scientists.

I only call attention to this to make a point.  It doesn’t take much for a few people with dedication and a mission to convince a voting majority in a community of anything.  If you see insane ballot questions like this one coming up in your area, write a letter to the editor or do something about it.  The majority of the nation is not scientifically literate.  Sure, Wichita just banned fluoride, which will lead to a few more rotten teeth, but more than likely no serious effects.  But it may be vaccines up for vote next.  Confront pseudoscience where ever you find it.

Seriously, fluoride?

Jason Linkins Wins “Dick Morris Related Headline of the Week” Award I Just Created

In political punditry, as in the larger real world, there are certain things that are just unarguable.  If you add 2 to 2 you end up with 4.  Objects attract each other with a force proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.  Fox News is “fair” and “balanced.”  The higher the turnout in an election, the better the prospects for the Democratic candidate.  Ann Coulter is a horrible person.  The Log Cabin Republicans confuse even other Republicans.

And Dick Morris is always wrong.

Forget the state polls.  Forget 538.  Forget Votamatic, forget the PEC, forget Intrade.  The single biggest indicator that Obama would win re-election was Dick Morris’ prediction of a Romney landslide.

The result was that the presidential race reached a tipping point. Reasonable voters saw that the voice of hope and optimism and positivism was Romney while the president was only a nitpicking, quarrelsome, negative figure. The contrast does not work in Obama’s favor.

His erosion began shortly after the conventions when Indiana (10 votes) and North Carolina (15) moved to Romney (in addition to the 179 votes that states that McCain carried cast this year).

Then, in October, Obama lost the Southern swing states of Florida (29) and Virginia (13). He also lost Colorado (10), bringing his total to 255 votes.

And now, he faces the erosion of the northern swing states: Ohio (18), New Hampshire (4) and Iowa (6). Only in the union-anchored state of Nevada (9) does Obama still cling to a lead.

In the next few days, the battle will move to Pennsylvania (20), Michigan (15), Wisconsin (10) and Minnesota (16). Ahead in Pennsylvania, tied in Michigan and Wisconsin, and slightly behind in Minnesota, these new swing states look to be the battleground.

Or will the Romney momentum grow and wash into formerly safe Democratic territory in New Jersey and Oregon?

Once everyone discovers that the emperor has no clothes (or that Obama has no argument after the negative ads stopped working), the vote shift could be of historic proportions.

Sure, lots of conservative pundits picked Romney to win this election, and every indication suggests that they actually believed in the prediction; it wasn’t just hype.  But those pundits lack Dick Morris impressive track record of ineptitude.  If Dick Morris told me that Sasquatches (still like Sasquatchi) were non-existent, I would start looking for one.  If he told me that Obama was born in Hawaii, I’d start asking if the birth certificate was a forgery.

And now that the election is over and all of the conservatives, convinced by the right wing echo chamber that Romney would win easily, deal with the actual results, we get to see those that claimed the polls were skewed and the electorate loved Mitt explain how they got this election so hilariously wrong.  Which leads to headlines such as this, from Jason Linkins at the HuffPo:

Dick Morris Falls On His Sword For Wrong Predictions, Misses Sword

Can Dick Morris be such a horrible pundit that he gets this election wrong after it has already taken place?

I’ve got egg on my face. I predicted a Romney landslide and, instead, we ended up with an Obama squeaker.

An Obama “squeaker”?  Wait, what?!?

Back in the HuffPo piece, Linkins lists a few reasons that conservative pundits may have been mistaken about this race, then gets back to Morris:

Does Morris go on to cite any of these factors in his mea culpa? Nope. He is thoroughly convinced that he was undone by the weather.

But the more proximate cause of my error was that I did not take full account of the impact of hurricane Sandy and of Governor Chris Christie’s bipartisan march through New Jersey arm in arm with President Obama. Not to mention Christie’s fawning promotion of Obama’s presidential leadership.It made all the difference.

Not really, actually! Philip Bump put together a simple graphic that illustrates the fact that Romney’s momentum had ceased and Obama’s had picked up again well before Sandy even got her name, and that by the time the storm made landfall, the race was no longer looking like a squeaker. The whole “Sandy altered the race because Chris Christie hung out with Obama” notion is just one more casualty in this year’s war between “pundit narrative nonsense” and “quantifiable political science,” won decisively by the scientists.

Not to worry, though. Morris will nevertheless enjoy another four-year term of being wrong and ridiculous, which only goes to prove that America is a great and charitable nation.

For just an added bit of humor, remember Dick’s prediction for the Senate this year?

The most likely outcome? Eight GOP takeaways and two giveaways for a net gain of six. A 53-47 Senate, just like we have now, only opposite.


By the way, the runner-up for the “Dick Morris Related Headline of the Week” Award was “Jason Linkins Wins ‘Dick Morris Related Headline of the Week’ Award I Just Created”.  You know, in case you were wondering.