Will Someone Please Ask Abigail Breslin Where She Parks Her Unicorn, and If Fairies Really Have Wings?

Yeah, I’m being mean to a seventeen year old.  I am horrible.

But when I was seventeen I believed in shit like this as well, and wish that people would have told me I was being an idiot, rather than smiling and nodding their heads while I explained that I was a witch who was going ghost hunting.

From…ugh.  Fox News:

“We did have two weird things happen when we were doing the scene with the Ouija board, it didn’t move on its own, but when we shot this scene in the attic, I got this weird asthma attack, which was so random. I don’t have asthma, so it was so random,” Breslin told FOX411. “Another time, I wrapped for the day and went back to the place I was staying and went to run on the treadmill at the gym and the door was wide open and had a stopper on it, yet it randomly slammed shut and then my workout for the day was done. I was terrified.”

OMG, OMG, OMG!  Are you fucking kidding me?  A door slammed under “mysterious” circumstances?  Fascinating!  And while shooting a scene in a tight, enclosed space that was probably crowded with production team members and more than likely overheated (and just to stop it here, I don’t care if it was overheated or not, that was just one of a million possible factors that could have caused a 17 year old with a heavy work schedule to have a “asthma” attack), you had a breathing related incident like an asthma attack?  Un-fucking-believable!

Strange.  You know, I wonder why she thinks these incidents are “weird.”

It turns out elements of the supernatural have long intrigued the young star, even before stepping into the thriller genre.

“(I’m fascinated) with ghosts and other worldly, paranormal things. I have always wanted to see a ghost or go on one of those Syfy channel shows talking about it,” she said. “I want to meet the Long Island Medium to see if she can see if anyone follows me. I want to know if anyone is trying to contact me. I would be sad if I went to her and she told me no one was contacting me.”

Huh.  She was already interested in the supernatural.  Never would have guessed that.  Don’t worry, Abigail.  I am willing to guarantee that the Long Island con artist Medium would say someone is trying to contact you.  Probably a whole lot of someones.  As many someones as you want.

Anyone want to start a pool on how long it takes the Long Island Faker Medium to see ratings gold and reach out to Abigail about appearing on Long Island Grifter Medium?

My guess is the second the Long Island Cold Reader Medium heard about this interview.