Things More Likely Than Bigfoot, Part 1

As we await the definitive proof of the existence of Sasquatches (Sasquatchi) to clear peer review and be published, we here at Foster Disbelief will pass the time with a new series: Things More Likely Than Bigfoot!

For part one of our series, we will travel to Zarozje, Serbia, by way of Salon:

“One should always remain calm, it’s important not to frighten him, you shouldn’t make fun of him,” said villager Mico Matic, 56, whose house is not far from the collapsed mill.

Oh, a collapsed mill?  My interest is peaked!  Who is this mysterious “him.”

Some locals say it’s easy for strangers to laugh at them, but they truly believe.

“Five people have recently died one after another in our small community, one hanging himself,” said Miodrag Vujetic, a local municipal council member. “This is not by accident.”

Five deaths, one by hanging?  Outsiders laughing at the superstitious locals?  I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up.  Do go on.

“He is just one of the neighbors, you do your best to be on friendly terms with him,” he said with a wry smile, displaying garlic from both of his trouser pockets.

So apparently you will be fine if you just treat this mysterious “him” in kind ways, as any other neighbor.  I’m sure, however, this “him” is vicious if you cross him.  Wait.  Did he say garlic?

“The story of Sava Savanovic is a legend, but strange things did occur in these parts back in the old days,” said 55-year-old housewife Milka Prokic, holding a string of garlic in one hand and a large wooden stake in another, as an appropriately moody mist rose above the surrounding hills. “We have inherited this legend from our ancestors, and we keep it alive for the younger generations.”

Yes, he said garlic.  And she is holding a wooden stake.  Which means that old Sava is a, wait for it, vampire!  (Cue ominous music.)

But before you reach for your crosses and stakes, prior to making a trip to Whole Foods for some garlic cloves, realize that these locals may not be warning you of this vampiric menace out of the purest of motives.  Just like American politics, this is all about the money.

They say rumors that a legendary vampire ghost has awakened are spreading fear – and a potential tourist opportunity – through the remote village.

A local council warned villagers to put garlic in their pockets and place wooden crosses in their rooms to ward off vampires, although it appeared designed more to attract visitors to the impoverished region bordering Bosnia.

Remember the council member talking about the five deaths earlier?  His further statements:

Vujetic, however, said that “whatever is true about Sava,” locals should use the legend to promote tourism.

“If Romanians could profit on the Dracula legend with the tourists visiting Transylvania, why can’t we do the same with Sava?”

If you are planning to travel to Europe next year, stop by this region and spend a little money.  It is an impoverished region, and the people in the area have been through hell with the conflicts and war that have taken place in Serbia and Bosnia.  You can hear a vampire legend and go on a vampire search, and help people massively less privileged than yourself.

Who knows?  You may even run into Sava himself.

It is more likely than Bigfoot, after all.

 

 

Colorado Again? Is There Something In The Water?

Unless you live in a cave, you are no doubt aware of the tragedy in Colorado at the premier of The Dark Knight Rises.  This is not a hard news site.  My only comment on the shootings is that my heart goes out to the victims and their families.  I am the type of person who attends midnight premiers of similar films.  I know how the combination of the anticipation for the film and the shared experience of the packed theater can create lasting memories and an incredible night.  To have that interrupted by a massacre; to attend a film and wind up in a blood bath; to have a night you’ve looked forward to for months end with the death of your loved ones, is frankly completely unimaginable to me.

There are many things I could say in response to this tragedy.  Many ways I could use it in arguments for my beliefs.  Many ways I could exploit it.

But I’m not a vampire., and I am not going to use a horrific incident such as this to make a point before the victim’s corpses are even cold.

Some people however, have no such reluctance.   From the HuffPo:

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) said Friday that the shootings that took place in an Aurora, Colo. movie theater hours earlier were a result of “ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs” and questioned why nobody else in the theater had a gun to take down the shooter.

…..

“People say … where was God in all of this?” Gohmert said. “We’ve threatened high school graduation participations, if they use God’s name, they’re going to be jailed … I mean that kind of stuff. Where was God? What have we done with God? We don’t want him around. I kind of like his protective hand being present.”

Gohmert also said the tragedy could have been lessened if someone else in the movie theater had been carrying a gun and took down the lone shooter. Istook noted that Colorado laws allow people to carry concealed guns.

“It does make me wonder, with all those people in the theater, was there nobody that was carrying a gun that could have stopped this guy more quickly?” he asked.

Okay.  First thing first.  Rep. Gohmert?  Fuck you, Louie. You are a ghoul, just like Falwell and Robertson when they blamed the 9/11 attacks on feminists, abortion, and atheists.  Guess what, asshole?  Bad things happened before state-sponsored prayer was taken out of schools.  Bad things would happen if it was put back in schools.  Of all western nations, we live in the most religious.  When you said the above quote, you had just as much of an idea why the shooting took place as the rest of us.  None.  To take a tragedy like this and use it to make a political point before the bodies are even cold is slimy, disgusting, and a disgrace to the people you represent and the nation as a whole.  Once again, fuck you.

Second, let’s deal with his comment wondering why no one was “carrying a gun that could have stopped this guy more quickly?”

Picture the scene.  You are in a packed theater.  The lights are out.  The surround sound system is deafening.  Suddenly, chaos; there is smoke everywhere, and then you begin to hear the shots, loud cracks overwhelming the sound of the film, soon mixed with screams of terror and pain.  Someone is shooting and people are dying.  Those not already dead are stampeding the exits, jumping over seats, storming the aisles, trying to survive.  You, concealed carry permit holder, are the epitome of cool under pressure.  You calmly stand and remove your .45 from the holster, casually flicking the safety off.  It’s dark and chaotic, sure, but you are Eastwood, Stallone, and Wayne, all rolled into one, with a little part of Samuel L. Jackson, the ass-kicking part, not the black part, for good measures.  You quickly glance over the situation, immediately picking out the gunman.  “You have one thing in common with the Joker,” you mutter under your breath.  “You’re both dead.”  You squeeze the trigger softly, sending a packet of justice across the theater, barely missing a 14 year old girl as she tries to escape before the bullet finds its home between the gunman’s eyes.  His head explodes in a mist of crimson, as you re-holster your weapon, sit back down, take a drink of Coke and a handful of popcorn, and wait for the movie to resume.

Bullshit.  A trained soldier would have trouble identifying the gunman and taking him out without injuring innocent civilians.  A pistol packing citizen out for a good time with his family and friends would have practically no chance to do anything but add to the chaos and body count.  There are some shootings where the argument can be made that an armed citizen could have ended the rampage and saved many lives.  This is not one of them.

Let’s visit Rock Beyond Belief for more on asshole Rep. Louie Gohmert:

GOHMERT: …But, ya know, I might mention something else that had not been public yet, most of us that follow the military know we have had an extraordinary increase in suicide in the military –and it’s just heartbreaking. And, I’ve sat with families around their kitchen tables and they are going ‘we never saw this coming – ya know, we didn’t know.” And there was a study commissioned…

ISTOOK: And, Louie, we’re gonna have to finish…

GOHMERT: Well, let me say this very quickly – but its six thousand personality index profiles. And, what they found, and I don’t know if they will make it public – one of the participants told me ‘ the results may not go public’; but, all of the people who committed suicide, within their thousands of people studied, were part of the 2-percent most atheistic members of the military. We’ve lost our faith.

If you want to know more about this, please go on over to Rock Beyond Belief and read Justin Griffith’s post.  One more thing before I move on from Rep. Gohmert:

Louie?  Fuck yourself with an old rusty pole or a splintery post.