A big thanks to Ed Brayton and Dispatches from the Culture Wars for today’s “Wait….What?” The original article from the Guardian can be found at this clicky thingy. (Yes, I know it is a blast from the past, it’s a two year old story. But Ed posted about it today, and I wasn’t writing when it originally came out, so I thought I’d share.)

The rigid fundamentalism of many Islamic nations today is heartbreaking, especially when you learn how early Muslims not only saved classical knowledge from extinction, but also made great contributions to mathematics and science. While Christians stumbled through ages dark, Islam held the candle of knowledge, ensuring the flame would not die out. It is painful to watch Islam travel the dark path now in the modern world. But there is always hope; in fact, a stunning break through in the science of seismology has taken place in Iran, and it is causing scientists the world over to re-examine their cherished beliefs.

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by the president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

Think of the lives that could be saved by the ability to more accurately predict earthquakes. So many lives, so much heartache, so much grief. And now here is the “eureka moment” for seismologists, their ticket to lessening the impact of one of the most devastating natural disasters, and once again, after so many centuries, it is an Islamic nation holding the light of science.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Of course! How simple, it is amazing this wasn’t discovered years ago by a seismologis….. Wait. What did that say again?

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

Let me get this straight. So now, women who “do not dress modestly” don’t only have to deal with slut-shaming and victim blaming to go along with the creepy stares from men who consider them masturbatory aids that breathe, but now they’re blamed for earthquakes as well?

Breasts do many things. They feed babies, cause backaches, wreck or boost self esteem, require extra clothing, break the law if they escape in public, provide pleasure, look good, show if you are cold, and turn many men (and some women) into drooling idiots. But I have never felt the earth tremor in their presence.

So. Cleavage causes earthquakes. Apologies on the false alarm for a scientific breakthrough. Someday, the light of knowledge and reason will once again shine from the nations of Islam.

It’s just not today.

(If this is the first time you’ve heard about this story, here’s some links and two words for you: